Dear Sam,
Today was your last day of summer. You hurt all over from yesterdays practice but just dealt with it.
You and your mom went to the mall to go shopping for some clothes for school. Before you went to meet her you had to put on a real bra and not a sb because if you hadn't have worn one you knew she would have said something.
Shopping was fine but at the same time you hated it. You hate yourself and your body. You're trapped inside of it and your dysphoria hadn't been this bad in a while. You wish you could just ask for help and to go see a therapist but you're too scared.
After shopping you and her had chinese food. It was great but the conversation wasn't. She brought up how you should be a girl and act like one and dress like one. You tried to make subtle arguments but it didn't work.
She brought up your ex and how it her fault you started acting and dressing like this.
You dont know how to explain to her that you aren't the same person you were in middle school. You know who you are but you can't tell her because you think she won't except you.
You sat there and took it like any respectful boy would and when you left and she took you to your car. You waited for her to pull away and then you lost it.
All that anger and hate turned in to tears that ran down your face the whole way home. You took a bath and people on he internet talked you down from self harming. You've been clean for a while now and you're proud of yourself.
Tomorrow is your first day of your senior year. You dont have class but you're going anyway.
You're tired of hiding yourself and just want to be you. It'll happen sooner than you think. Stay strong buddy.
- a letter to me.
