dedicated to someone else.
She keeps secrets from herself
Secrets she could never guess
And she can only be honest about them
When she is someone else
It takes a hiding place for her to come out
A mask for her to show her face
She has told you lies
Without meaning to
Answers are on her tongue
That she does not believe
But somehow they found their way there
It takes everything for her to think
She may never stop
You will never know how she feels
When she truly feels
And it is hard for her to admit
Just how much she does feel
You could mean the world to her
And you would count yourself nothing
She lives in riddles
She does not understand
She only comprehends
She is not quite right
And it affects everyone and everything
And her greatest fears
Are losing those she never had a claim to
Because to claim them
Is to lose them
And she never knows why
It takes patience to approach her
And she doesn't believe, in the end,
You would have the patience for her
Because she doesn't understand why
She's too complicated and simple
And there is no benefit to knowing her
Though she would give up everything
If anyone asked her
And that's a weakness
She's never known to take care of herself
She never says no
She will push you away before you pull away
Because leaving is inevitable
And pain is her only allergy
When it's inflicted by someone else
But she is content to hurt herself
That way it's controlled
There are no surprises
She doesn't deserve the light that's in her life
She's done nothing good
People are right to leave her alone
It's written all over her
But that's the last thing she wants
And the first
Because she can't be the center of attention forever
And she likes it too much
People are like sunshine and rain
And she is the plant in the shadows
There's too much pain in being taken out
And knowing you'll be put back
And she can't believe in love
Because that is the biggest pain of all
And she's seen it be joyfully torn apart
Because to love is to trust
And to trust is to give up control
To give up an understanding of what's happening
And confusion is a form of pain
And every promise gets chipped at
And words mean this to her
But that to you
And one day trust breaks
Because the world is hard
And trust is fragile
And no one deserves the kind of doubt
That seems to stalk her
And the way she lies
And the way she hurts
When she doesn't mean to
And the place she came from
And the ghosts that haunt her
And the mistakes she's made
And the mistakes she'll make
And she says all these things
About her rotten core
And still has the fickleness to hope
Someone will see her worth
And maybe even convince her
And she has the pride to think
However bad she is
She is still pretty good
And however messed up things are
It might be better than everyone else
And she still wants
To be loved someday
Even though it terrifies her soul
And all of these things are little weights
Tied on her hands and feet
Her wrists and ankles
And some she's shrugged off
And some she's still hugging tightly
And she's always wanted someone
To come and save her
Before she saved herself
Because then no one would know
What a struggle she endured
But she's wanted more
To save herself
And prove she's not weak
Not the weak little girl
That everybody reads about
In between the lines
And she'll never tell you
She can do anything
And no one will ask
Because incompetence
Is burned into her like a brand
Ever since they decided
Unable was what she would be
Useless
And she'll never tell you
She wants something other
Than what you want
Because her life has never mattered
The way yours does
And that's what it is to be good
And she'll never say
She's proud or modest
Or adequate
Because once you say you're humble
She hears pride in the humility
She's not sure the difference
Between a talent and a boast
So best not to say anything
To be low
Is to be the highest of all
At least that's what her mind says
When her face is on the ground
And she's not quite strong enough
To admit who she is
To almost anyone
And if for a moment
She braves to make herself important
Tomorrow the memory kills her
And the argument inside her soul
Is real
And if she's ever done one thing right
It was to stand still long enough
And cry silently enough
For the One in heaven to reach out
And touch her
And hold her
And speak for just her to hear
But all the credit is His
And all the love is His
And she's never been alone
And the craziest truth
Is that the way she sees herself
Is not the way He sees her
Is not the way He made her
And with every look
And every touch
She changes just a little
And some of the old truths
And all of the old lies
Are falling away
And she's growing
She's growing to a point where she can say
This
The good, the bad
The ugly, the beautiful
The past, the present
The somewhere in between
This is me
