I Swear We Were Infinite

How it all began.

"Why?"

It's a question I've been asking myself a lot lately, why did I do it? Why did I say yes?Why me? Why NOT me? Why? But then I realized, maybe it's because I hate boring and I love attracting attention and drama. It could be because without a bunch of crazy confusing shit happening I don't feel like myself. Then again, it might just be the fact I love to talk about myself and giving other people advice, especially on what not to do, and trust me, we may have just met, but I'm an expert on that.

Before I go any further, let me introduce myself, I'm Alexa Marie Ramirez, but to most people I'm just Lexi. I'm the girl who at the beggining of junior year was sad her best friend was leaving for California to go to college at Cal Tech, I'm the girl who hooked up with a senior on the football team their sophomore year, I'm the crazy girl who screams down crowded hallways, I'm the one who's in a physical poke war with a guy twice my size, I'm the girl who loves to argue for no reason. There's two sides to every story right? Well I think that there's two sides to every person too, the side the show the world and the one they don't. I'm called a slut, but am I really? Well that's your call. Just let me explain myself and how I got myself into this amusing mess I call my life.

So like any other story we should probably start at the beginning, I'll just casually speed this process up by filling you in myself on all the small details until we get to where anything important actually happens. I was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma and I lived there until I was 5, I then moved to Chicago, and have lived here ever since. My mother is a doctor, and my dad, like many other Americans, is unemployed. I went to public school for kindergarten through 5th grade and I made friends that I still have to this day back then. I don't exactly live in the best neighborhood and we certainly don't have a good school district, so I started going to a private school in 6th grade. Its there that I met some people that I guess you can say that I'll never be able to forget. In 7th grade we studied Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken." The summer after 8th grade lead me to the path I'm on. I'm grateful for my choice now, but what I've gone through because of it, well who knows. I don't normally like to think back to these memories, but they show me who I am and all I've over come to become myself. Not to mention it makes a great story to write, but back to my point, it was the summer after 8th grade, I was a young and not so naive 14 year old who had become friends with a group of boys. I was particularly close to one in particular, he was tall, had dark brown hair and the most beautiful hazel eyes, not to mention a killer smile, and his name was Caleb.

Caleb and I actually met quite recently, so this isn't your normal friend with benefits story, because no, i haven't known him since childhood, and no our parents aren't close friends, and no we don't have parents who mysteriously are never home, and no we aren't rich, we're normal kids who live normal lives, well until that's how it was until the summer before our freshman year.

Caleb and I became friends in 7th grade, so it had only been 2 years, but the way we acted together, well you would've thought we'd known each other our whole lives. We knew EVERYTHING about each other, it was kinda amazing, plus we can basically read each others minds and complete each others sentences, I know you're probably thinking "yeah yeah yeah, whatever," but I'm serious, once you find someone you can do it with, it's like the most amazing thing ever. Caleb and I were originally not that close, just causal friends you talked to in class and at lunch. We then became extremely close, it actually happened at one of our friends pool parties, there was only Caleb and I, plus our other friends Kevin, Sophia, and Adam. It was a normal pool party. Well it was until Sophia suggested we play water basketball, Caleb and I didn't want to play so we laid next to each other on a raft in the pool relaxing and talking, but then he asked what should we do to pass the time and we came up with the idea of playing a game called "Are you nervous?"

Basically for those of you who don't know what the game is, it's a game where a boy puts his hand normally your arm and slowly works his way up to your boobs and each time he moves his hand up or down slightly he asks" you are you nervous?" meaning stop. So we played, it wasn't the first time we'd played, but the other times it was during school and wasn't really as intimate and there were other people who did it to me too. The thing is I NEVER get nervous and we both knew that, so we played and at first it was normal, but then he went under my bikini and started rubbing me, oh and there's one thing I almost forget to mention, Caleb is normally that cute, quiet, smart kid that basically never says a word at school unless its during lunch, yet he's one of the sweet and a pretty popular guys, but once you get to know him, you know that he's a normal perverted guy who loves to have fun and let lose.

After the water basketball game was over Sophia and Adam thought it would be funny to flip our raft over so they did and then they climbed on, and Caleb and I grabbed on to either side of the raft and put our legs underneath so we were basically laying down under the raft, all of a sudden i felt Caleb's foot in between my legs and then I felt him rubbing me again, I looked up at him and saw him looking at me with a knowing smile, he knew what he was doing and he wasn't hiding the fact he knew. I knew that I'd liked him before this day, but after all of this my head was just spinning, I was so confused about if I like him or not, or even if I should like him. I texted Sohpia and told her I liked him, she said that it was a great thing, that she was basically over with the feelings she had for him. Yeah that's right, Sophia had liked Caleb in the past, and so have I, but I got over my crush on him to make things not be weird since we were friends. Sophia didn't, and the thing is she didn't just like Caleb, she liked a lot of guys, she wasn't a slut, but rather quite the opposite, I love her, shes one of my best friends for crying out loud, but she wasn't always the wisest when it came to the guys she liked, I always worried about her, I didn't want her getting hurt.

That night I texted Caleb and everything was basically normal, we texted until 2:30 am and then we went to sleep, I woke up at 10 am the next day and texted him good morning he texted back and we continued to text till we went to sleep. Then Saturday came.

Saturday's are normally the day that I get to do nothing and just sleep and watch TV all day, but this Saturday Jack was having a party, so I woke up and ate, then I took a shower and went to Jack's party. Jack's cousin was there with her friends, I knew them all and said hi and talked to them for a while before waking away, I did my best to ignore them for the rest of the night. I was never close to them, I used to be friends with them all, but i learned better then to try to be close to them pretty quickly. They were your usual preppy, stuck-up, populars. I was one of them for a while, but then I realized that I'd rather have REAL friends rather then ones who talk about you behind your back.

"Bitches" I mumbled to myself after walking away. I spotted my friends and walked over.

We all decided to play some basketball, Jack then suggested we go to the basement and chill since it had started to rain. We all walk down to his basement and played air hockey, talked and had fun. Once I was about to leave Caleb walked over to me and started playing are you nervous with me, we played for a little bit then I said goodbye to my friends and left.

I texted Sophia later that night to ask her what happened after I left. She told me that they'd done almost nothing, but that she felt bad I'd had to leave so early. She also said she thought Caleb had missed me after I left. When she said that I felt my heart flutter in my chest.

Oh God, whats wrong with me?....

*Ok, so this is my very first time writing a story basically ever, so I know it sucks and its kinda short, but gimme a break, I need to get used to the writing whole thing, it'll get better, at least I hope it will. I'm currently in the process of rewriting this entire story and continuing it, a lot has changed in my life since I started writing this years ago and I really feel it would be a great story to write.*