The worst part of a funeral, is the whole thing. I'm not sure anyone actually enjoys them, unless the person who died was some kind on bully whom everyone hated. My life seemed to be filled with death, yet no matter how many times I wanted to leave this world, by some magical force, I was saved....I wouldn't really call it 'saved' because I didn't want it. I should call it denied of my will.
The only people at Sal's funeral were Izzy, a preacher, and me. That's all. Her parents hated her, she had no siblings, her family hated her. Whatever she did must have gotten them pissed. Jake's funeral was a bigger turn-out than this. This was a little sad.
When the preacher left, Izzy and I put some flowers on Sal's casket. No one cried, but I know I was about to. All these good people, who could do something better with their lives were dieing before my eyes, and I couldn't do a damn thing. I tried so many times to follow them, but the more I thought about it, the more I figured I couldn't follow where they went. I could never go to where they're going, because I was going somewhere much worse. When people die, everyone reassures the family that their loved one is in a better place. Not with me. If someone was trying to inform one of my loved ones I was gone, it would just be a lie. I wasn't going anywhere nice, where all of the sins I commited were wiped away. I was going to be sent somewhere where my sins grew more and more with each step.
"Des, let's go. They need to put her in the hole," Izzy said. I nodded and followed Izzy out of the grave yard, back to my place.
"Jayden has to be stopped. He's done too many things wrong in this place after I've tried so hard to clean it up," I said. Izzy agreed, handing me a Cup 'o' Ramen.
"I know you want to kill him, but right now, you're going to need help again. I don't think this is a one man job, Des. Look at what happened to Sal," Izzy kicked off her shoes and ran her fingers through her hair.
"You think I don't know that? I freaking know that better than anyone else! So stop rubbing it in my face!" I shouted, throwing my ramen at the wall. Izzy jumped, making me give a look of sorrow. "I'm sorry Iz, I'm just tired and angry. Angry at myself, angry at Sal, angry at Jayden," I mumbled, pacing the room.
"Des, I know it's hard, but you can't keep this strain on yourself. You have to let it go, let other people take the blame. Let other people help you. You're not the only one here," Izzy stated. I let out a long sigh, nodding my head.
"If Allen of Donell were here, they'd know what to do," I whispered to myself.
"Well, Dessy, they're not. We have to take action on our own. From here on, let's promise to rid this neighborhood of gangs once and for all," Izzy said, standing up. I nodded.
"Yeah, no matter what it takes," I said, walking over towards her.
"No matter what," Izzy repeated, putting out her hand for a hand shake.
__
All right. Sorry it's so short. I had to get this finished, so I just wanted to post it. I dunno when the next one will come out. If I'm really lazy, I might write another chapter, but this one just had to come out. I don't know if you'll like it, but I won't apologize for that.
Thanks for reading!
Lesley
Vote/fan/comment! <3
YOU ARE READING
Losing Hope
Action[Sequel to 'Gang life'] It's been 5 years since Allen died. 1 year since the war stopped and 4 years since Des lost hope. Now a new, naive gang in coming in. They think they're all that. Will Des keep their egos on ground, or will she let then think...
