Don't Hesitate

Chapter XIV

Fourteen

I've been painting and drawing a lot lately. Mrs. Mercier always said that an artist's life was like a wooden roller coaster. Unsafe, unpredictable, and it always has its ups and downs. Hiatuses are very frequent and only seldomly do you get bursts of inspiration from yourself. Most of the time you just sit and look at the world and make art out of what it has to give you.

My room has french doors that lead to a small terrace. Other than plants and two white chairs the only thing in it is my art easel. It has a breathtaking view to go with it too. The terrace overlooks the garden and the little white gazebo. Passed the tall bushes you can see downtown with its tall historical buildings standing in all their glory, along with my favorite cherry blossom trees.

I spend more time in my terrace rather than my own room. The only time I really stay in my room is when it's time for me to sleep. When I want to read I sit at the terrace, letting the moon light up the pages.

Recently I've been spending much time up here than usual. Mostly painting, and at night I just look up at the stars until I'm so sleepy I'd fall on my bed and just pass out.

Anyways, I don't quite know why I'm spending so much time by myself and painting the past couple of days. I'm not enlightened whatsoever, and I don't feel inspired by anything. But I do know that I want to look for answers. And I believe somehow letting all the thoughts I can't comprehend out on the canvas will help me make sense of this.

But it hasn't been working lately.

I hear a knock from behind me. I turn away from my canvas and peek through the french doors. I see Jesse poking his head out of my bedroom door, with a sleepy smile on his face. I put my palette and my brush down on a chair and open one door for him.

"Good morning," I say. "I didn't know you were up!" I'm usually the one to wake him up in the morning. "What time is it?"

"About 9:30," He shrugs. He walks over to my bed and sits on it, surprised by its bounciness. "Why do you always get the nice things?" Jesse crosses his arms.

"Is it really 9:30?" I brush my fingers through my hair. "Sorry I didn't wake you up, Jesse!" I point to the terrace. "I was caught up in painting and stuff." I say, flustered, pushing my hair out of my face and tightening the elastic that was holding my hair up in a bun. I didn't realize I've been painting for almost 4 hours!

"It's okay, Laur! You are an artist after all." He says as he pats down the empty spot on the bed next to him. I walk over and sit, letting out a big sigh.

"You look tense. You need to relax more!" He nudges me to the side. "You've been painting a lot recently. And come on, it's spring vacation! Don't 'cha wanna spend most of your time with your favorite cousin?"

At this point he was trying to tickle me. "Okay, okay!" I wheeze, smacking his hands away. "It's Monday, today right? What did you have in mind?" I ask as I ruffle his curly blonde hair, one of the few things he hates. He lets out a groan and shoves my hand away, tousling his hair back into place.

"Well for starters we can drop by dad's place to see if he needs help!"

"Okay," I say straightening up. "Then what?"

He shrugs. "It'll be a surprise!" He jumps up and walks out of my room, giving me a suspicious wink before he closed the door. I sigh as I went back to the terrace, gathering all my paints to put them back on the shelf, and I bring the canvas inside, propping it up to a wall in my room along with my other finished and unfinished works. After I clean my brushes I get ready, changing into jeans and a sleeveless white top, and putting my hair into a bun again.