Dark Yearnings

Letting Go

AN: I apologize it took me a few days to update I have some ideas for this story so hopefully I will post more tomorrow as well. This chapter is slightly uneventful but needed. So bare with me and thanks for reading! Comment and vote let me know what you think so far. :)

Stefan ignored Caroline for a moment. He didn't want to show her he turned off his humanity, so he needed to be careful how he responded. Caroline raised her eye brows and her voice.

"Stefan, hello? Where have you been? I called you all night. Have you heard from Bonnie? She never showed at our dorm last night" Caroline asked frantically and sat on the edge of Stefans bed. His first instinct was to bluntly tell her about Bonnie. He stopped himself seeing the look of concern on Carolines face. He sat beside her on the bed and put his arm around her.

"Caroline I'm sorry, there was an accident last night. I was with Damon helping." He lowered his head to show sadness. "Bonnie was murdered by a vampire at the Grill last night. They were fighting her and Damon. He tried to save her but he wasn't fast enough. There were too many of them. I'm so sorry." He cracked his voice faking sorrow and wiping his eyes as if tears fell.

"This is all my fault. She begged me to go out last night. I can't believe it she can't be dead Stefan she can't" Her lips shivered and her forehead wrinkled up as the tears poured from her eyes. She smothered her face into Stefans shoulder. He held her emotionless in his arms and smiled proud of his performance. He brushed her hair with his hand, and returned to his remorseful expression as she looked up at him teary eyed. Her eyes were glossy and she sniffled a moment looking into Stefans eyes. He wiped a tear from her cheek and turned away from her. He felt himself feel something and he quickly got off the bed and paced a little. Caroline wiped her face and regained her composure. "I'm sorry, I know how we left things last time we spoke. I shouldn't of."

"No it's okay Caroline. Your best friend just died." He assured her. Carolines face changed suddenly to that of excitement. She stood up quickly.

"Stefan! Elena! She must be awake in your family crypt!"

"She's gone Caroline. She asked us not to tell anyone she woke up. She wanted a normal human life. She left Mystic Falls." Stefan felt a singe of pain telling Caroline about Elena. Even with his humanity turned off he couldn't completely let go of Elena. He thought of Lexi for a moment, she had told him once that they can't really turn it off completely, only the newbie vamps have that luxury. He pushed it out of his mind he didn't need Lexi and Elena on his mind that would bring his feelings back for sure. "I spent the night helping Damon deal with Elena leaving. We were at a bar, I had to keep an eye on him and he didn't want you judging him so I turned my phone off." Caroline stood silent for a moment she was baffled and for the first time in a long time she was speechless for a moment.

"Are you kidding me?" She finally screamed. "She just left, after Bonnie was killed, she left Damon, she left me...she left you? I can't believe this." She placed her hands on her head and sat back on the bed. "I lost both my best friends in one night, and I didn't get to say good bye to either of them." She began to cry again. Stefan was exhausted from the nights activities, he didn't feel like pretending to be sad all day with Caroline. So he did the only thing he knew would work on a sad vulnerable girl. He sat beside Caroline and lifted her chin in his fingers. He stared into her tear filled eyes. Her breath immediately deepened. He rubbed her cheek and leaned in to kiss her. Their lips met and Caroline drank in their passion. She needed to feel something besides the emptiness and sadness. The death of Bonnie was crippling and she needed to escape her mind. Stefan laid her back on the bed and crawled on top of her kissing her neck and chest. He caressed her sides under her top and slid his hands to her waist and began to unbotton her jeans. Caroline sat up and put her hands over his. "Wait." Stefan looked annoyed for a moment. "Can we just cuddle please? I don't need anymore regrets this week, or this life time for that matter." She sighed and rolled her eyes. Stefan nodded and crawled up beside her. Finally he could sleep he thought to himself. Caroline turned to face him. "At least I still have you right." She smiled. "If you gotta have a best friend it's better to have an immortal one." She snuggled into his chest and fell asleep. Stefan began to wonder how long he could hide from her that he turned off his humanity. He wondered how long he could keep it off, he felt the feelings just a pinch away from coming back as it was.

Damon sat in his bed with a glass of bourbon and listened to Stefan and Carolines conversation. He was actually surprised how good his brother was acting considering how emotional Caroline was. He reflected on the nights activities. He knew Elena would be furious that they murdered people and manipulated the bar patrons. She would especially be upset that Damon was allowing and encouraging Stefan to switch his humanity off. So much judgement that will never come because she's gone. He almost wished she was here crying and yelling at him. He wanted to see her disappointment and hear her plan to get Stefan to switch it back on. It hadn't been 24 hours even and he already missed her deeper than the day she was put under Kais spell. He feared being human would make her leave him, but he knew she never wanted to be a vampire. He needed to let her go, he needed to find a way. He took down the photos of Elena and him through out his room and lit them on fire in a trash can. He watched them burn and put the fire out after the photos curled into ash. He noticed some blood on his sleeve and removed his shirt. He pondered for a moment if he should continue to let Stefan go on without his humanity. He decided to let it go for now, Stefan seemed to be under control, and right now no humanity Stefan was what they both needed. Damon wiped a tear from his cheek and crawled back into his bed. He didn't think he would be able to, but he fell asleep almost as quickly as his head hit the pillow.