All is Lost

Chapter 2: Hard to Breathe

"How am I suppossed to breathe, When all my heart does is bleed?

When you're too stupid to see, what you're doing to me?

You're making it hard for me...

So Hard to breathe."

                                                                  -Nikki Flores

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Selena's POV

Today has been rough; like really, REALLY rough. I've been sick all day, and everything is reminding me of Justin. I don't think I've moved from bed, other than to puke my guts out in the toilet. 

"Honey.. Do you want to eat something?" My mother peered in the room, I looked a mess. The look on her face said it all. I just looked at the ceiling, tears falling. 

"Mama, why did he do this to me? Did I do something?" I whispered weakly. She bit her lip and came and sat on my bed and pulled me into a warm embrace. 

"Darling, none of this was you. He wasn't ready to be a father, and took the cowardly way out." She moved my hair out of my face and wiped my tears. 

"I thought he would be happy... but he was so mad. I don't think I could ever forgive him for this. Even if he begged for it." She kissed my head and let me cry for a little bit. I looked up at her. "Harry is coming home tonight. I think he is gonna stop by." 

"Well, what a blast from the past. Want me to invite Taylor over? I can go to the store and get stuff for everybody's favorite. You could use some friendly support today anyways." I thought for a second, then smiled. 

"Yeah, could you call her though, I wanna sleep a little longer." She smiled and kissed my head again. She stood up. 

"I'll go to the store and then pick her up. I'll be back, if you need me call me. Okay?" I smiled at her and nodded. 

"love you mom." She blew me a kiss and left. 

As soon as I heard the door close, I let myself go. Crying, I stood up and tried to breathe so I could calm down. It helped a little, so I decided to take a shower and try and relax a little. 

I got inside the shower and turned on the water. I let the warmth engulf me. It was so hot, that my skin tingled. It felt really good honestly. 

I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me. I walked into my room, and grabbed my phone. There was a message, from Him. 

Justin: I want to clear something up, I want nothing to do with you. Please stop calling and texting. That bastard child is not mine. It never will be. 

I went to reply but he sent another message. 

Justin: Just leave me alone. I hate you. 

I froze, that four little word sticking out above every other word. 

Hate.