Relapse / / h.s.

Chapter Fifteen.

     The television helped drown out the noise of car horns honking outside of my building. I stared at it, having watched the whole episode but still not paying attention enough to actually follow along with what was going on. I ran my hand through my hair, feeling the grease from not showering all over my fingers.

   I hadn't spoken to Elena in days. I'd somehow managed to get White to give me a couple of days off. They were all unpaid, of course, not that I cared. She'd tried calling the first day, but eventually gave up after the fifth time of me not answering. I'd sat in front of this television for days wallowing in my own self pity and I was absolutely miserable:

  "You should call her," Lillian said. Her feet were on the coffee table and I didn't even care enough to tell her to take them off. "You should shower, too,  but you should definitely call her."

I grunted, still focusing on the television. "No. I don't want to."

"Yes you do," Lillian argued, absentmindedly running her hands through her hair. "You're just stubborn."

"I'm not stubborn."

  "Are too," she sang. "You're too stubborn to admit that you actually are stubborn."

  "Whatever," I sighed, picking up the remote and flipping through the channels. I wasn't paying attention to what was on as I flipped and I finally stopped on one of those channels that were always trying to sell you things, today's specialty being knock-off handbags.

  "You're a mess," Lily reached out to touch my hand that was lazily resting in the space between us. I could still feel her, but somehow it felt like she was barely grazing me. "You need her, Harry."

   I pulled my hand away and crossed my arms over my chest. My stomach grumbled loudly and Lily rolled her eyes.

"See what I mean?" She sighed. "She helps. Call her. It's time you guys went on your next rendezvous."

It had been five months of not having Lily here, but somehow even now she was still always right. Elena did help. She put balance back into my life in a short time and without her I was fucking myself over once again.

I sighed as I reached for my phone on the coffee table and the pack of cigarettes beside it. I'd chain smoked nearly three packs in the days that I'd spent locking myself up in here and I was down to my last two. I took one out, put it between my teeth and lit it, enjoying the temporary calm it gave me. Lily didn't even protest.

I was ready for this. I was ready for whatever endless amount of questions Elena was going to ask me. I was ready to be out of my flat. I was ready to be talking to someone that was actually real. I needed to stop living in my head. Just the thought of seeing Elena seemed to seize my shaking hands.

I clicked on Elena's contact, looking to Lily for motivation. She smiled, nodding her head towards my phone and mouthed "Go on. Do it."

"Harry," she answered right on the second ring. "Hi."

"Hey Elena," I breathed, a cloud of smoke bellowing from my mouth and disappearing into the ear. "Are you busy?"

She was quiet for a moment. "No," she finally said. "Why? What's up?"

I dug my nails into my knee. "Would you want to go somewhere with me?"

More quiet. "Now?"

"Now."

  "All right," she sighed. "How long until you get here?"

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  After a quick shower and a pep-talk from Lillian, I was in my truck and on my way to Elena's. I took the long way, mentally preparing myself for the rest of my day. I was ready to start today's adventure and I knew exactly where I was going to take her.