Pencil Shavings (a Genderfluid story) - COMPLETED

Chapter Five: Impossible

I decided to write a letter to Mom.

She didn't know I was genderfluid. Of course, Kate did; I told her when I first figured myself out. But Mom and Carlos had no idea. And I was not ready to tell Mom in person.

So, I got out a pen and a piece of paper, and wrote:

Mom,

Want to know why I cut my hair? And had no makeup on? And joined the football team?

Well, I have something to tell you.

I'm genderfluid.

I figured myself out a year ago. That's why I was acting so "weird."

If you don't know, genderfluid means that I flow between genders. I am a guy at some points and a girl at others, even though I was born in the female body.

I still love you and I hope you love me.

xoxo,

Anna

Once I had signed my name, I bit my lip, wondering how she would react. I folded the paper, but it in a purple envelope and put it on her bedside table, then went back to my room to try to continue the search for people like me.

But I before I sat down at my desk, I changed my mind. I wasn't ready for her to know. I raced back in her room and grabbed the letter, then ran back to my room. I put the letter on my desk so I wouldn't forget it later.

Then, I continued my search.

An hour later, I still didn't have any luck.

It had been four days since I got the idea in my head that I needed to find someone like me. I've come across one or two people online, but they lived in England, and me living in America was not exactly helping my case. I wanted to actually meet them in person. And unless Mom was going to agree to buy me an airplane ticket to England, I wasn't going to meet them any time soon.

I wanted to give up.

I wanted to forget the idea and have fun with Taylor, go on a date, go to school, be a normal kid.

But I wasn't a normal kid.

I sighed and rested my head on my desk by my bed.

Deciding that the search wasn't going to go any further that day, I called Taylor, and asked if she could pick me up. She said that she'll stop by my house in about ten minutes.

I suddenly knew that I wasn't Ty anymore. It just...happened. I'm Anne. I smiled to myself before grabbing my pink finger nail polish and putting on, then changed into my pink and black striped leggings, and a blue shirt. I grabbed my pearl necklace, put it on, then raced downstairs and outside so I could greet Taylor.

She grinned at me. "Hey, girl?" she asked slowly. I nodded.

"Uh huh," I replied, before getting in beside her. "Thanks for picking me up."

"No problem. Anywhere you wanted to go?"

I shrugged, and stared out the window. It had begun to rain, so Taylor rolled up the windows before pulling out of my driveway.

"You okay?" she asked.

Again, I shrugged, not really having an answer.

She nodded. "I know exactly where to go, then."

I raised my eyebrows, but didn't say anything. I rested my head against the glass window, watching the rain fall.

After about ten minutes, Taylor stopped the car. She looked at me. "Well, are you going to get out?" she asked. I nodded and opened the car door, and got out. I smiled as the rain poured down around me. It was beautiful.