Pencil Shavings (a Genderfluid story) - COMPLETED

Chapter Ten: School

School.

The dreaded hell of all teenagers and kids.

I didn't have my back pack or any of my supplies, so Marcus's mom had to go get them from Mother. It was a bad experience for both of us.

Marcus told me that word had gotten out that I had been kicked out from my home, but thankfully, no one knew why. But I was honestly terrified to go back to school, no matter if they knew why I was home or not.

Taylor and I sat in Marcus's - well, my, bedroom on the bed. I wrapped my arms around Taylor, not knowing what to do. She hugged me back, and I smiled to myself.

She pulled back. "Look, the bus'll be here soon. Mom wants to take me to school, but, I might be able to ride with you on the bus. And I already asked if you could ride with me in Mom's car with us but she said no. Screw her. Anyways, want me on the bus with you?"

I nodded. "Sure."

I grabbed my bag and ran downstairs to make sure I had everything ready. When I was sure that I did, I took Taylor's hand in mine and went outside with Marcus and Emily. Taylor called her mom to tell her that she was going to be riding the bus with me, and that she didn't have to pick her up after school today. I squeezed her hand when the bus came around the corner, and she looked at me and smiled.

"You'll be fine," she said. "I'll sit by you and make sure nobody ever picks on you or asks you anything."

"Thank you," I whispered.

The bus doors opened, and I climbed inside. I ignored all of the stares and sat down, Taylor right beside me.

"Wait...," I said.

"What?"

"How do they know I was kicked out?"

She frowned. "I don't know. Maybe Becca told them? There was a basketball game last night, and almost everybody goes, and I'm assuming she went."

"But on a Sunday?"

"Saturday's game was canceled because of hail."

"But it didn't hail..."

"It did on their side of the town. We live in Phoenix, Anna. It's a pretty big city. One part it could be raining cats and dogs, but the other part it would be sunny and a bright day."

I nodded. "Yeah, okay."

When the bus driver had picked everyone up, he dropped us all off at the football field, where we went on Mondays. Cheerleaders had practice on one side of the field, football players practiced on the other, and everybody either worked on homework they missed from the week before or they ran laps. And because I had no work to do and no book to read, I had to run laps.

I set my backpack down on the bleachers before running back to the track to start running. Four or five students were already there, racing each other. Taylor had a worksheet she forgot she had to do from math, so she sat down and got to work, Marcus helping her, leaving me alone. I sighed. Great.

I tied my shoelaces and began jogging, tuning out everything. I concentrated on moving my feet and running slowly at first, getting myself warmed up. I hated running.

"Hey, Anna!"

Still jogging, I turned my head and saw Becky, a cheerleader, running beside me.

"What?" I asked.

"Why are people saying you got kicked out?"

"Because I did! Leave me alone!" I shouted. I started running faster.

"But why?"

"Leave me alone!" I kicked up the pace a bit, hoping she would take the hint and leave. "Don't you have practice?"

"Yeah, but the girls wanted me to ask you why you were kicked out."

I took a deep breath. I was almost all the way around the track now. "Go away!" I yelled. I was sprinting now.

"Fine!" She finally took the hint and left. I slowed down to a jog again, trying to catch my breath.

I stopped at the bleachers to get a drink of water and to rest. Taylor looked at me and smiled. "Hey, Anna."

"Hi," I said. "Do you have any water? I forgot mine at home again."

She nodded and grabbed her blue water bottle and handed it to me. "There," she said. "Drink as much as you want. There's more water at the school."

I nodded. "How many minutes until we go inside?"

"About ten."

I groaned. That was enough time to get another lap in.

I frowned. "No..."

"You denied it! Ha! You are gay."

I turned off the water and turned around. I walked closer to him, right where I was in his face. "I am not gay. Even though I find absolutely nothing wrong with homosexual people, I am not one. Okay? And even if I was, I wouldn't be telling you, of all people, because you're the biggest douche in school, got it, Theo? Got it? Stop barging into other people's business! What if you were kicked out just for being you, and people at school would not stop asking you why. Would you like it? Huh? Huh?"

He blinked, but didn't reply.

"I didn't think so. So stop asking me, and tell you little friends to stop asking me as well." With that, I spun on my heel, and went back to class.

Back in my desk, I put my head down. I'd already done the assignment, so I had nothing to do. I was just so tired of the real me being kept in.

I hate being genderfluid.

I raised my head, shocked that I would have thought that.

I hate myself.

It's true, I thought. I'm just a boy and a girl who changes genders randomly without notice, and Mother doesn't even love me any more.

I didn't understand why Taylor or Marcus even bothered to hang out with me. They knew I was a girl at some times, and a boy at others, but why they were so accepting...I'll never know.

"Anna!"

My attention snapped to the teacher, who was standing at the front of the room. "What? Ma'am?"

"Quit day dreamin' and get to work!"

"I'm done, ma'am."

"Oh. Well...read or something."

"I don't have any books."

"Look on the bookshelf! You're sixteen, you should know by now that you should always bring a book to class, and if you forget, you go to the bookshelf and pick one out."

"But I've read all the books you have."

The teacher threw her hands up. "Seriously. Why did I bother trying? Why do I even teach this grade?" she mumbled as she walked back to her desk.

I smiled to myself, but the smile immediately vanished when my previous thought process came back to me.

Great.

Just great.