Pencil Shavings (a Genderfluid story) - COMPLETED

Chapter Four: Library

When I got into the library, I checked in before heading over to the computers, where I sat down and pulled up the search bar and typed in "how many genderfluid people are there in the world". 

What I got didn't surprise me. It turned out that approximately less than one percent of the population were genderfluid. And I was part of that percentage. 

But how would I find someone like me? 

I didn't know when it got into my head that I needed to find someone else like me, but it was in my head, and I wasn't just going to forget the idea. But if people like me were so rare, how was I going to find them? 

Sighing, I closed out the tab and went to go check out a book. After I did, I sat down at one of the tables and opened it, ignoring the fact that I was missing my English class.  

* * * 

"Ty?" 

I looked up, and frowned when I saw Marcus staring at me. "Um..." 

Marcus raised his eyebrows and slid into the opposite chair. He folded his arms and leaned back. "Why did they call you Ty yesterday, Anne?" 

I froze. Marcus didn't know. "I thought you said you weren't going to the dance," I said. 

"Plans changed," he replied. "Now answer the question." 

"Why are you so mad about this?" I asked, but then seeing the look I got from him, I closed my book. "Marcus, we're gonna have to talk. But not here." 

"Why not?" 

I groaned. "Well, we need somewhere more private!" 

"No one else is in this library besides old librarian, but she's in the back, and her hearing sucks anyway. This is a good a place as any." 

I ran my hands through my hair before I replied. "Okay. Well, there's something I'm gonna tell you, but you have to promise you won't tell anyone else." 

Marcus unfolded his arms. "You're gay." 

My eyes widened. "What? No! I'm not gay. I don't know who I like. It's something else. I'm genderfluid!" 

He frowned. "Gender-what-now?" 

"Genderfluid. Not transgender, not gay. My genders flow. I shift between male and female, and now it's male. And I like to be called Ty when I'm male. I like to be called Anne when I'm female. And I don't completely change personalities. Just gender. I act a bit differently, yes. But not completely. I'm still the person you know, just male version. When I'm male, I feel more masculine, and play football, listen to rock music, etc. When I'm female, I'm feminine. I play volley ball, and, well...listen to rock music. But that's beside the point. The point is that I'm a guy now, and a girl at others. Get it?" 

I smiled at his reaction, which was just a face of shock. 

It was about a minute before he decided to speak. "So...you're a guy," he said. 

I nodded. 

"And you're a girl...when?" 

"Whenever," I said. "It happens randomly. But usually it's about monthly. For me, at least." 

"Okay. But how would I know?" 

"Ask. Just ask, 'what's your pronouns for the day?' and I'll tell you." 

"Pronouns?" 

"Don't you know anything?" I sighed. "Pronouns. He, she. His, hers." 

"Oh. Okay." 

"Okay." 

* * * 

After my talk with Marcus, I left with the book and went to meet Taylor at the cafeteria, where she had saved a spot for me. I smiled as I set down my book. 

She grinned back and handed me a half of her sandwich. I took it gratefully. "I told Marcus I was genderfluid," I said. 

"Oh?" she asked. "And how did he take that?" 

"He was confused, of course, but I helped explain it to him." 

She gave me another smile. "Great! Now, why weren't you in class today? I was worried." 

"Sorry," I said. "I was reading in the library." I held up my book and she nodded. 

"Hm...Shoot To Thrill. Haven't read it," Taylor replied. "What's it about?" 

"Murder mystery," I said. 

She nodded, and we both started eating. After I was done with the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I looked at Taylor. "What books have you been reading?" I asked. 

"Well, there's this one with an asexual character, and it's really good," she said. "It's called Coffee Cake. It's kind of a murder mystery as well. I like it." 

I nodded. "You'll have to loan it to me sometime." 

"Of course!" 

We ate lunch together, then talked about the lessons we had in English, since I missed it. Apparently all I had to do that day was a worksheet and pick out a new Independent Reading Book that we were assigned to read every month. I wanted to read Shoot To Thrill but I wasn't sure the teacher would let me. Usually she assigns us a specific genre for the month, and we go from there.

I threw my trash away and went to get the worksheet I missed. 

* * * 

After I got the paper, I completed it in the classroom, then turned it in. I then got the Genre of the Month, which was Science Fiction, and went to pick out a book at the library. I picked out The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which I was surprised I hadn't read. 

After I had gotten everything, I sat down by the tree that was in the playground, wondering how in the living hell I was going to find someone like me. 

It seemed impossible. 

But I was going to do it. 

No matter what it took.