I'm in love with my teacher

chapter 14

((Jess's mother's P.O.V))
Finally the month had passed and Jess can now return to school. She has healed rather nicely for the short amount of time and there is no harm in her returning to school. Today is her first day back to school and I'm kinda scared of letting her out of my sight. Since in the hospital when she put on a bit of weight she has been scared to eat and gain even more. In the past month she has eaten less and has lost quite a bit of weight. She has been rather quiet and upset throughout her time off and I can only hope that it is because she missing someone....maybe she has a boyfriend or a crush....a mother can hope.
Though I'm hoping going back to school will help her eating habits, maybe her friends can knock some sense into and tell her she isn't fat...because right now she needs that. Her self-esteem has been lacking since she was taking to hospital...she isn't as happy or confident as she once was. She is constant worried about her weight and because of that she has practically stopped eating. She is now defiantly underweight and needs serious help.... I just don't know how to approach her or to help her.
I was pulled out of thought by Jess entering the kitchen; let's hope her day will be better than the month she has experienced.
((Jessica's P.O.V))
The first day of school was here and indeed I am excited...not because its school but because I get to see Roger again....after a month of being away. However, that excitement couldn't cover the feeling of weakness that had possessed my whole body this morning. Last night I couldn't sleep one because I always end up not sleeping before the first day of school, and two because I was excited to see Roger again. And with the lack of food in my system probably wasn't helping my case either. It's not that I couldn't eat...it's that it felt more like a chore to me, I just didn't feel like eating. Because of the lack of eating I had lost weight...the girl that was once fat is no more, I thought to myself.
Anyways, I walked into the kitchen to find my mother sat eating breakfast. My father was no-where in sight so I guessed he was in work. With my bag slung over one shoulder and my jacket hocked over my arm I approached the kitchen table....preparing myself for a conversation or rather an argument about having breakfast.
I dumped my bag by the table and put my jacket on the back of the chair before sitting down, opposite my mother.
"Good morning dear, excited for today?" she asked, smiling warmly.
"Yeah, it's better than being stuck in bed all day" I answered, mirroring her smile, though it was more fake.
"Do you want breakfast?"
"no I'm okay, feel a bit sick...all the excitement ya' know" I replied....great excuse Jess, I thought to myself.
"Well okay, are you gonna walk to school or do you want me to drop you off on the way to work?" she asked, wow she is full of questions today...but she's just looking out for me.
"Can you drop me in please" I asked, taking a sip of the orange juice that sat before me.
"Sure, should we leave now" she asked. I looked at the clock and indeed it was time for us to leave. I nodded my head before standing up. I quickly slipped my jacket on and grabbed my bag. I already had shoes on so no need to worry about that.
With my mom following behind me I walked to the front door, exited the house and walked towards my mother's car. She unlocked the car and I quickly got in, feeling nervous about seeing everyone after the whole veronica incident. My mother got into the car and started the engine, beginning our journey to school.
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I walked down the school corridor, all eyes were on me. I couldn't find Courtney or Ellesse when I first arrived at school so I could only presume they were at class. I walked down the corridor towards my locker, needing to put a few things in there. I hardly ever used my locker but considering the fact I felt weaker today I thought it would be easier to carry a lighter bag.
It was like I was in one of those movies, as I walked down the centre of the corridor everyone stared at me, standing to each side of the hall. I just ignored it and walked towards my locker. Once there I discovered it had been covered in notes saying 'get well soon' and other messages from different pupils in the school...some I had never heard of or talked to....:
Jess, I'm sorry for what happened and I hope you get better soon...if you need any help catching up in English give me a call..... - Rosie x it then had her number.
Jess, I'm sorry for what I did to you. This is the last time you will ever hear from me and I swear I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm glad your okay. - Veronica.
That message kinda shocked me, but just like the others I took it off my locker and stuffed it inside. I read many other notes, either offering help with different subjects or just hoping I get well soon. Though there was one message that intrigued me...one I defiantly didn't expect to find.
Hey love, glad you're getting better and as always can't wait to see your beautiful face.... love R.T.
I immediately knew who that note was off....Roger....and I couldn't wait to get to his lesson which I actually had last....but lunch I was determined to visit him.
After stuffing some stuff into my locker I made my way to class...which took longer than I expected. I kept getting stopped by people who wanted to say 'glad to see you back' or 'glad you're feeling better'. I very much appreciated their comments; in fact I hadn't had half as much attention before the incident took place.
Once I did get to class...finally. I spotted Courtney and Ellesse at their seats, both to engross in conversation to notice my presence. Slowly and quietly I crept up behind Ellesse, putting my hands over her eyes and shouting guess who.
((Ellesse's P.O.V))
I immediately recognised that voice...it was Jess.
"You didn't tell me you'd be in today" I spoke, watching as she took a seat beside me.
"I wanted it to be a surprise" she said, smiling all over. She looked clearly happy to be here. This was a surprise. What was also a surprise was the weight Jess had seemed to lose; it looked as though she hadn't eaten in days, maybe even weeks. Okay yes she didn't look as though she was a stick...she looked under perfect weight but not enough for her bones to be clearly sticking out. She didn't look anorexic. Though I could tell she had lost weight...and a lot of it.
"Jess has you lost weight?" I said stating the obvious, my voice full of concern
"Yeah, why?"
"Why, you were fine before?"
"I didn't like my weight okay" she stated turning to look at the front of the class, though our teacher hadn't arrived yet.
"You're not starving yourself are you?" I asked, worry that she was bringing this upon herself. I did notice she had gained a little weight after coming out of hospital, but it wasn't that significant that she had to starve herself. With a little healthy eating and exercise after she recovered she would be back to normal, and much more fitter.
"No, it's just, eating is more like a chore now. I just don't feel like eating" she didn't look at me once whilst she spoke and I was becoming more worried by the minute. I think the incident had a bigger affect on her than everyone has been thinking.
I was about to ask her another question and reassure her that I was here for her when the door came flying open, in our teacher strolled. Guess it will have to wait....

((Roger's P.O.V))
The day had gone by fairly quickly and lunch had arrived. Since the teacher were older than me...and many didn't particularly like me (since they knew about the band and didn't approve of a 'rock star' teaching students) I sit in my class room and eat. Just like any other day, any other lunch time I pulled a sandwich out of my desk draw....which I prepared myself this morning. I also pulled out an apple and a packet of crisps as well as a can of coke.....hey I brought whatever was in the flat.
Unwrapping my sandwich I was surprised to hear a knock at the door. Whilst reaching for one half of my sandwich and taking a bite I shouted 'come in'.
The door slowly crept open and my eyes instantly widened at the sight.
"Jess" I said shocked. I didn't know she was back in school. But also the sight of her made me shocked. She had lost a lot of weight and it looked as though she had been starving herself for weeks. Her clothes seemed slightly baggy and she looked rather pale. I could tell she hadn't slept last night and over all I was worried.
I quickly put my sandwich down and rushed towards her, closing the classroom door before embracing her in a bone crushing hug.
"I got your note" she smiled up and me, I chuckled...glad that she liked it.
"I'm glad you liked it" I said, letting her go. She walked over to table opposite my desk and took a seat upon it. I followed her taken a seat on my desk.
"But I'm not gonna talk about that right now, we're gonna talk about you. You've lost weight...a lot of it. What's wrong jess?" I asked, concern showing in my eyes and voice.
"I...eating is just a chore and I just can't be bothered" she simply said, not looking at me once whilst speaking.
"Jess" I said sternly, not completely convinced it was the truth. Out of no-where she broke down in tears, full on sobbing.
"I dd..dooon't like m..m..myself okay...i was f...ffaaattt and...i... I have this massive scar acrrrosss my stomach..." I quickly stood up from my desk and embraced her.
"Some days I feel so self-conscious....so non-presentable that I...I.I donnttt wantt to leeaavee the house, I don't want peeoopplle to seee me" she cried.
"You were never fat...and that scar...that scar is never gonna go away. But it doesn't make you any different. It just tells a story, a story of what you have been through" I said as I rocked her back and forth, trying to calm her down. She continued to cry in my chest as she mumbled various things that I couldn't understand but the next thing that left her mouth made me seriously worried.
"I thought...i thought you wouldn't like me anymore...cause I was fat and a mess. I thought... I thought..." she didn't finish her sentence and instead you broke down, sobbing even harder. I pulled away from her only to place my hands on her cheeks.
"look at me....look at me" I said, her eyes meeting mine. Her eyes were red and blotchy from the excessive crying, tears streamed down her cheeks. I really hated seeing her like this and it broke my heart to find out all these things she thought about herself.
"look, I didn't think you were fat, and that scar..that scar" I stopped to lift up her t-shirt, looking at the scar that was on her stomach. I pointed at it as I spoke, gently pressing my hand against it, making sure not to hurt her in any way.
"that scar, doesn't make you ugly or a mess, it doesn't make me feel any different about you....it makes you look brave. It shows what you have battled through..both emotionally and physically. It tells a story. Maybe the physical battle is over but the emotional battle seems to have just begun" I said, letting go of her t-shirt and pacing my hands on her cheeks again. She had began to calm down, though stray tears did roll down her cheeks, which I brushed away with my thumbs.
"you have never been fat...you have always be beautiful, perfect and I don't see you any other way. I'm never leaving you for that matter...you are stuck with me" we both chuckled slightly.
"it's hard Roger, I feel like crap none stop. I can't stop it...i don't like it" she chocked up.
"I know, but hey well get through this together. I'll help you, I'm here for you. I wouldn't let anything happen to you and I will help fix all this okay....I'm not going anywhere" I said. She smiled slightly at me, before leaning forward just as I did. Our lips met and we shared a loving kiss, one which expressed how we both felt....though there was a long ride before us it was one we would travel together.