why would it take years for me to notice one admirable soul?
all he did was exist,
no extravagance in the particular things that he does,
Yet somehow,
I am still mesmerized by the way he deals with things,
and yes, we did have a lot of encounters,
and all these years I didn't care,
until one day,
just because he's talking in front with confidence and precision — I can no longer look at something else,
and everytime each of us arrive at school earlier than one,
there's always this undeniable eye contact that we hold for a second,
it's something else for me,
and that could mean nothing for him,
yet I still giggle inside,
I look forward going to school everyday because I'm able to gaze upon him,
and then there's him,
in his usual manner,
calling me by name,
for the first time now that I have hidden feelings,
what if the way he calls me is actually what's holy?
i might actually hold this feelings for a while,
but I'm sure I'll let it go sooner,
because in this life,
i think love is something big for me,
and it's not something I can easily commit to,
it's something I can easily drop off in every circumstances I'll have,
right now,
i feel like it'll become a choice and not a priority,
right now,
it's something heavy to hold on to,
they say that to like because and to love despite,
To like because of their qualities,
and To love despite some of their qualities,
and for me to fully grasp the meaning of it,
I'll have to deal with learning to love myself first,
maybe someday,
I won't be as coward as I am now,
And if fate still consider something about us,
It'll make us cross paths,
sometime when we're both ready,
and I won't be as cowardly as I am right now.
merMia
