Gangland: The Resurrection of Melbourne's Underworld {M.G.C}

Flashbacks & Sleepless Nights

Stella

I couldn't believe what he had just admitted. I didn't know what to say. I was speechless. I just lay there in his arms. I knew I had to say something, but what could I say? I didn't know what my feelings were. I knew I'd always have some form of feelings for him, but did I feel the same way?
All these years of pain and suffering, not knowing why he did what he did. Was it out of love? It couldn't have been, I mean who does that to someone they love? Who leaves the one they love while their sleeping and not saying a single word to them for years? He made me believe that he didn't care about me, that all the words he said that might meant nothing. I lay there in his arms, thinking of the events of that night. The night of September thirteen, 2008.

~Flashback September 13 2008~

I was stumbling around Kelly Denner's house party drunk out of my mind. I never usually came to these stupid parties. I always told my parents that I was going, but I'd end up meeting Michael at the end of the street and going to a park, so the two of us could be together. But things had changed. Michael had been so distant throughout the last week. I picked up another strawberry Vodka Cruiser bottle, opened it, and began to skull it; in attempts to clear my head. I had no idea how much I had drunk tonight, and I knew I would be paying for it in the morning, "Stella," I heard a familiar voice, "what are you doing here?" I looked up and saw my boyfriend, could I even call him that anymore?
"I came to shee you," I slurred, "you've been ignoring me all week,"
"Stel, baby I'm sorry," he told me, wrapping me in his arms
"Wh... Why?" I asked, I knew I was about to cry
"I can't tell you," I was about to take a sip of my drink, but he grabbed it from my hands
"Give it back Mikey," I said, trying to grab my drink back off of him, "get your own,"
"Stel, babe, I think you've had enough," I tried to reach for the bottle of sweet pink liquid again, "you can barely walk,"
"I haven't,"
"How many have you had?" He asked
"I don't know?" I questioned my answer, but it was the truth I didn't know how many drinks I'd consumed that night
"See you've had enough," he said, "you don't even know how many you've had,"
"Whatever," I scoffed
"You need to sober up babe," he said
"Why haves you been ignorling me Mikey?" I asked, my words slurred, "do you not loves me anymores?"
"Of course I do baby girl," he said, "it's just..." He trailed off, "it's just kinda complicated," I went to respond to what he said, but the room started to spin, and my stomach started to churn
"I don't feel too good Mikey," I told him
"Have you eaten?" I just shook my head, "you need to sober up," he said again, "come with me," he took me by the hand and lead me to an empty bedroom and sat me down on the bed, "I'll be right back,"
He returned a minute later with a bottle of water, "drink this Stel," he handed me the bottle and I drank, "hey, hey, hey, not too fast babe," I slowed down my drinking
"The rooms spinning still," I told him, laying my head on the pillow, "that's better," I sighed, "can you stay here with me?" I asked him
"I shouldn't, Stel," he confessed
"Why not?"
"I just can't, babe, you don't understand,"
"Tell me,"
"I can't babe,"
"Why not?"
"I just can't Stella,"

This was how he'd been all week long. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I couldn't hold in the tears any longer. The alcohol and my emotional state had gotten to me. So I just let them fall, "don't cry babe," he told me, "I'm here,"
"But you're just gonna leave," I sobbed, "why can't you just stay with me?"
"I just can't Stel, I can't do this anymore," he said
"Do what anymore Mikey?"
"You and me, this, us," he said
"You said you still loved me though," I cried even harder
"I do baby, I do,"
"Then stay, and show me that you love me," I cried, "because I love you, and I don't want you to let me go,"
"How do I show you?" He asked, "you need to know that no matter what happens, I'll always love you,"
"Then why are you leaving me?"
"Because I have too,"
"Then just stay with me one more night," i could hear the pleading and begging in my own voice
"Okay," he gave in, "I'll stay," he lay down on the bed next to me, wrapping his arms around me, "sleep baby," he told me, "I'll be here when you wake up,"
"I'm not tired," I told him, sitting up on the bed. The room wasn't spinning anymore. I swung one leg over him, so I was straddling him
"What are you doing babe?" He asked
"This," I told him, attaching our lips together for the first time in days.
He resisted a little at first, but then he succumbed, just like I knew he would. He moved his hands from beside him, on to my hips, moving the fabric of my top up, and pressing into my bare skin with his thumbs. He moved one hand, to my butt and squeezed. I let out a slight moan, and he used that to his advantage to slip his tongue in, "fuck," he groaned against my mouth, "Stel, what are you doing to me?" I deepened the kiss as much as I could, moving my hands from the side of his head, and ran them through his hair.
Before I knew it, Michael had used his strength to flip us over, so that now he was on top. I could feel him harden through his jeans. We'd never really gone any further than this, "Stel, I think we should stop," he said pulling away from me, using his arms to support his weight
"No, I don't want to stop. I love you Mikey, and I want this,"
"I love you too baby girl," he said, kissing my nose, "are you sure?" I nodded, "because if we get any further I won't be able to stop,"
"Then just do it," I said
"Okay," he said, and put his lips back on mine, he broke away for a second, "just remember that regardless of what happens after this, I will always love you okay baby?"
"Okay, and I'll always love you too Mikey,"