A group of mourners dressed in black spoke in hushed, low tones, trying to hide their pity for me. Sighing, I blocked them out, carrying on towards the small tombstone.
I clutched the bunch of flowers close to my chest in one hand, and my son in the other. I could feel his big, brown eyes on me, studying my features, learning to remember every part of me. He was only a week old, new to this world. This awful, awful world.
My heart beat in my chest as I came to a stand still, admiring the rounded block in front of me, with words engraved on it. A name; a name that was on my mind all the time. Had been for years now. And a date.
It read:
Alfie Deyes.
Friend, brother, fiancé, father.
Taken too soon.
September 17, 1993-November 14, 2016My face reddened, my vision blurring and my heart aching as I bent down, placing my flowers on the grave of my dead lover. As I stood up, a tear rolled down my cheek, and memories flooded back to me.
I chocked on a sob and began to splutter, causing the child in my arms to wail. I looked down at his little red face, tears running down it, and his tiny fists pounding the air.
When Alfie was here, I had been so happy about having a baby. I had always been a maternal woman, and Alfie was my soulmate. It just felt right.
But now that he was gone, it felt more wrong than anything else.
A cold breeze tickled my skin, ruffling my short hair that was scraped back into a bun at the back of my head.
I rocked my newborn for a minute, but soon tears were streaming down my own face and I sat down on the ground and cried with him.
Through my tears, I looked up at the tombstone.
"I miss you, Alf," I whispered. "I miss you." I sobbed loudly. "Why did you leave me? You told me you would never leave me. You promised, Alfie!" I took a deep breath to calm myself before carrying on in a hushed tone. "He's here now. He looks just like you, except me has my nose and Joe's eyebrows." I chuckled. "Little Ian Sugg. They wouldn't let me give him your second name, so I had to settle for him."
I closed my eyes and sighed. What had brought us here? What had caused this? Just a few months ago, we were happy, engaged, and expecting. And now we're worlds apart.
"He will know who his father is, Alfie. I promise. He'll know about your jokes and your cackle of a laugh and he'll know that he has your eyes." I glanced down at my sons eyes. "I promise."
Reaching up with a shuddering hand, I reached up and wiped away my tears and snot. I stood up, and turned away to walk back towards my family and friends.
But not before I stroked the love of my life's gravestone and whispered, "I love you, Alfie. Always."
__________________________
Oh, the feels. :(
So, how was it?
I know it was short but it was just a prologue, so the first chapter is going to be longer.
It's also going to be a short story. I have eleven chapters and an epilogue planned out. So, pretty short.Also, while Black and White was angst filled but had a happy ending, this will not. I hope you still read on.
I appreciate your read and, if you voted, thank you!
- j. xox
Cover by: Me.
Trailer: http://youtu.be/lKpgCrPBKp4
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Flashbacks | Zalfie
Fanfiction“I knew, deep in my heart, that I would never, not ever, be okay again. Not without him. Not without Alfie.” When Alfie Deyes passes away shortly after being diagnosed with cancer, Zoe Sugg is left all alone with a baby boy to bring up. But with fl...