Flashbacks | Zalfie

Chapter One

               "Are you sure you don't want to come back to our place, Zo?" Jim asked, embracing me in a tight hug. I merely stayed limp, not wrapping my arms around him in return.

When he pulled away, I shook my head, and he gave me a look of pity and patted me on the shoulder.

I turned round and took little Ian from Tan, before allowing her to give me a half hug.

"Are you sure?" Jim asked once more.

I nodded and chocked out, "I need to be alone, Jim."

My tall friend nodded and wrapped his arm around Tan's waist, watching me strap Ian into his car seat before climbing into the drivers side.

Quietly, I drove off, paying little attention to the others in the parking lot.

I drove silently, glancing back at the baby every so often. He was asleep, his brown eyes covered. Good. I hated looking at them. They reminded me of Alfie too much.

Soon enough, I pulled up outside our sea side home in Brighton.

My sea side home in Brighton.

After grabbing Ian carefully out of the backseat, not wanting to wake him, I walked towards the door and picked up my keys.

When I entered the house, a million memories flashed through my brain. I could almost see him now, waiting at the top of the stairs for me. Grinning at me, running a hand through his long, dark hair. He had decided to grow it out not long ago, and he was successful. It was beautiful.

He was beautiful.

My eyes flashed around the house, looking at all the pictures on the wall. The pictures of me and Joe when we were younger, of Alfie and Poppy, of Alfie and I. One of the frames was put up so recently, too. A picture of Alfie and I, with his hand rested on my swollen stomach and my pouted lips pressed onto his cheek.

My heart ached and my eyes filled with tears. I ran to the living room, tears crashing down my cheek and sobs wracking my body, and I placed Ian down on his beanbag.

Furiously wiping away tears, I threw myself down onto the taupe coloured sofa. As I gave up fighting it, I buried my head in my hands and just cried.

I just cried.

Flashback

Crossing my arms over my chest and leaning against the doorframe, I watched Alfie sleep peacefully. His chest rose up and down as he breath, slow and steady, his mouth ajar but his eyes squeezed shut.

I smiled slightly at him, creeping back into the hall and into the study. Finding a pen and a piece of spare lined paper, and scribbled down a note to him.

Leaving it on my fridge, pinned under a magnet, before grabbing my purse and slipping out the door.

I drove slowly to the doctors, biding my time. My stomach twisted in that anxious way that it always did as I considered my options.

I couldn't be, could I? I was just overreacting, wasn't I? Well, wasn't I?

I didn't have the answers to the questions I so desperately needed to find out.

With a careful stride, I climbed out my car and walked on unsteady feet to the doctors office. I opened the door, making eye contact with a coughing patient in the waiting room.

I walked towards the desk and smiled at the lady. "I have an appointment with Doctor Jones at nine-forty-five."

She smiled kindly in return. "Okay. What's your name, dear?"