Flashbacks | Zalfie

Chapter Two

As memories flooded back to me, I rolled up in a ball and sobbed my heart out. I felt sick to the stomach. I just wanted him back. I needed him back. He was my air, my sun, my moon, and everything in between. He was my life source. He was my light in the darkness. He was the only thing I had to live for.

I slowly sat up and looked around me, reaching for my phone without even knowing it.

My fingers dialled the number without me even knowing it, and I held it to my ear. It rung twice before he picked it up.

"Joe?" I howled.

"Zoe? Are you okay? What's happened?" Joe's panicked voice asked urgently.

"I miss him, Joe," I whimpered quietly.

Joe sighed sadly. "Is there anything I can do, Zo? Anything at all?"

"No. I just want him back. I need him, Joe. Please, it hurts. It hurts." I cried, listening to Ian begin to wail.

"Look, Zoe, I'm fifteen minutes away from your house. I'm coming over and we're going to stay at dad's for a few days okay?"

I sniffed. "No, Joe, that's not fair. You can just drop everything because I'm losing my mind."

"Yes I can, Zoe. You're my sister."

And with that, he hung up.

Ian was still flailing, throwing his little hands in the air. I stared at his bright red face for a minute, his oh-so-familiar eyes meeting my own.

I didn't want to touch him. I didn't want to look at him. He reminded me too much of him.

Of the man I loved.

The man I could never have back.

Flashback

After collecting my prenatal vitamins, I headed out towards town in my car. I had one more stop to make before I told Alfie.

According to my bloods, I was about a month pregnant, just as I had guessed. Doctor Ramsey booked me an appointment with a midwife named Sarah the following week, when Alfie and I would see our baby.

I wondered if it would be a boy or a girl. It sounded cliché, but to be honest, as long as it was healthy, I didn't mind what sex he or she was.

I soon found the small baby store I had looked at earlier and walked inside. Grabbing the small YouTube top in the smallest size, I smiled.

It was perfect.

The woman at the desk smiled at me. "For a friend?"

I shook my head. "For me."

The woman gasped. "Well, you look great considering."

I chuckled. "Yeah, it's early on. Who knows, next time you see me, I might be huge."

The woman laughed and scanned the tiny tee-shirt, folding it up neatly, wrapping it in yellow paper, and handing it to me in a brown paper bag.

"That'll be five pounds please."

As I was grabbing my credit card, I spotted something behind her. It was a set, with a pair of adorable yellow baby booties and a yellow dummy.

"In fact, I'll take one of those too," I smiled.

After I'd payed, I drove home, extra carefully might I add. I was so worried something was going to happen.