Ridiculous

omlette

 "Sorry, I was in a game trance" apologised Toby cheerfully, taking a sip from his cup of tea. They were siting at the cramped dining table, using a stack of magazines as chairs.

"How long have you been playing for?" asked Will, gingerly stroking his chin.

" What day is it?" asked Toby.

"The seventeenth of February" replied Will, checking his watch.

"Three days then" answered Toby after a short pause.

"I did tell you to keep it to 20 hours a day", so saying, Will got up and non chalantly wandered over to a wall of game stack, where he had a vague recollection the fridge had been. He grabbed an action RPG game at the very bottom of the stack in front of him and pulled it out, then stepping smartly back, watched the stack collapse in front of him, revealing the fridge door. He opened the fridge door and began to inspect its contents most of it was moulding but he didn't much care considering he hadn't been able to eat recently due to his current low paid job, which he had christened as professional loiterer. As a professional loiterer he would loiter around job centres wandering whether anyone could offer him an alternate employment or just some money. Then at the end of a hard days work he would pay himself just above the minimum wage in pats on the back. One pat constituted as one pound in English currency. Surprisingly enough this mode of payment had not been accepted by local shops although he did once feel some sort of trade had been established after he recieved a slap from an angry restraunt manager in return for fifty pats on the back.

The important thing for Will was that he was in no way unemplyed.

As Will sorted through the contents of Toby's underused but oversticked fridge, Toby continued to talk.

"So how have you been?" asked Toby.

"Fine", replied Will, was it normal for an egg to have mushrooms growing out of it? But more importantly were either of them edible? possibly... had he seen the mushroom somewhere before? What was It was called... D... Delightful Nightshade?... that must be it.

"Is there anything I should know?", it was an established agreement that while Toby was mostly a hermit, his contact to the outside world, Will would supply him with news. Not that the information would have much relevance to Toby's life unless it was as something major as an alien invasion, for example,  and Toby would still only be interested if it was the pixelated Space Invaders, an icon of retro gaming, who were doing the invading.

"The prime minister changed..." said Will without much focus, his mind still on the subject of the contents of Toby's fridge. Was mold digestible? They were a type of fungi after all. "Squash crime has increased in London due to elephant related gang wars..." he continued. Meat! ... but were they meant to be green? "Some kid somewhere created artificial life from his chemistry set..." Should he eat green meat? Will remembered being told by his mother to eat his greens but whether that applied in this instance was doubtful... "... and there was a big fire at a prison..." Will finished his report, what he needed, he thought, was a food taster, "Toby!" he asked, "Do you want a meat and mushroom omlette?"

"Yes please!" replied Toby with enthusiasm, he liked the food Will cooked for him, they always tasted so.. exotic.