•Change | Jason DiLaurentis

f o u r

"These are the lies I tell myself at night"

It was barely 8am when my phone started ringing, in my sleepy state it was as if sirens were blaring. Eyes still closed, I reached out fumbling for my phone. In the end, (after 3 failed attempts) I had to phone them back myself- them being Spencer.

"Why did I just receive a text from Jason asking for your number."

Even through the phone I could practically hear Spencer's grin.
In a nearly incoherent voice I explained, (in as little words as possible) my most recent run in with Jason.
It occurred to me that I'd had more interactions with Jason in the past few days then I ever had. Of course I'd seen him countless times before at Ali's but they'd consisted of nothing more than a couple seconds stare or nothing at all. When he and Alison would start fighting, or the snide comments began, I'd leave the room or pretend to be incredibly interested in my hand.

My hands always seemed to be slightly shaking now, another great aftermath of the dollhouse.

As my mind began spiralling down the dollhouse route, the phone -still clutched in my hand- rang, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What now Spencer" I snapped irritably.
"Jason, actually," There was an amused tone in his voice.
Fuck.
"Sorry, is this a bad time?"
"No, no. I should be sorry..are you okay?
"Can we meet?.." There was a sigh followed by an incredibly long pause on his end.
"I know who Charles is"
At his words my blood ran cold, it was hard to find anything to say.
"Uh yeah, meet me outside the brew at 10"

I realised I'd ended the call before I even knew if that was okay with Jason, but even speaking of Charles brought back unpleasant memories.
Memories that seemed to crawl out from the pits of your mind and take over everything else. Memories that could stop you in the street...and accidentally end calls to Jason DiLaurentis.
**
I hadn't tried particularly hard with my outfit, a blue plaid shirt and black leggings seemed to be the first thing I found. I tied my shoes in seconds before running a brush through my shoulder length hair. It could probably use a wash but there was no time to waste on presentation. Mud stained Vans completed my 'I had 5 minutes to get ready' look and I nearly laughed at my bedraggled reflection.
**

I was a few minutes early to the brew and spent those minutes nervously stood outside, absent-mindedly chewing my lip and noticing my heart beat escalating as I prepared for whatever was to come. It also seemed to be that every couple of seconds i'd run my hand through my hair- nervous habits.

I watched Jason from afar as he approached, hands shoved in his pockets whilst staring intently at the ground. When he saw me a small, almost reassuring, smile flashed on his face for a second before his attention was cast to the ground again. Jason looked...overwhelmed. There were noticeable bags under his eyes and he seemed to be clenching and unclenching his jaw every five seconds.

"Nervous habits?" I broke the silence around us, "got a few of those myself"
Jason looked up at me, and a smile- a real smile- was set on his features.

"Let's go inside".
---
My coffee was untouched since Jason began telling me what his father had said- all I could do was sit in silence.

"Charles killed himself...when he was 16?"
I wasn't really asking Jason, I was more confirming to myself that I had heard correctly. He seemed to understand this as Jason didn't say anything, just fidgeted in his seat a little.
I wasn't shocked, of course we couldn't be right. We never could.

I grabbed my bag and stood up a little too quickly, knocking the table and sending things sprawling.

"Circles" I laughed a little too loudly, "Nothing has fucking changed!"
"Imogen, please!" Jason exclaimed, but I was already walking away.
***
The brick was rough against my neck and hand as I traced the cracks absent-mindedly. My paroxysm of anger left embarrassment and a clouded mind. I was so close to tears that it was physically hard to swallow the lump in my throat, my breath shaky and body restless.

I just ran.
Ran past Jason, past the brew, down the streets until reality hit me in the face. The alley felt like it provided shelter from the whole world- even if the smell of vomit and god knows what else made me queasy. If Charles wasn't A that meant we'd just been strung along again, lost sheep being chased round and round in circles by a masked sheep dog.

Jason must feel that way too.
My brain managed to remind me.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, the cliche little bastard wasn't even letting me feel sorry for myself.
***
The brew was as busy as ever, but with no Jason in sight. I huffed in very clear annoyance and jammed my hands inside my pockets. Why should I even care? I barely know him, he's no help and makes me dramatic.

I considered stopping at one of the girls' houses and seeing how they were too, (Ali would surely have told them the news as well), but all I wanted was to retire to my bed and not move for as many hours as possible.

That's why I nearly screamed with frustration when I arrived home.

"You have got to be kidding me!"
There Jason was, slumped at my front door looking as if he was ready to sleep himself.

"Why are you so cliche? Normal people drop texts!" I folded my arms and glared at him expectantly.

"It was you who ran away from me across the whole town!" He was trying to sound annoyed but there was no denying the hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth.

"Yeah well..I..I'm..." My voice trailed off.
"Why'd you even care DiLaurentis? I've had about 3 interactions with you! And why are you at my house? You are blocking me from my bed and I don't appreciate it"
I was trying to gain a reaction from Jason, having all the attention on me was uncomfortable.

The tall boy stood, squinting at me slightly but smirking.

"You forget I've lived with Ali my whole life, however your attempts to argue are truly admirable " Jason grinned.
"I care because I've never had a friend before. I'm not sure I know how to be one but it's clear that you need someone too. You might have the others, but I don't see them with you right now."

I shouldn't have been, but I felt almost insulted at his words- they would've been with me if I had wanted.

"And I need you this evening, we're going grave digging."
--

*PLEASE READ*
It's been 5 MONTHS since I last updated this! I have no excuse besides the fact I lacked motivation, so seeing this has 2k reads is amazing! Thank you to everyone who's commented and voted, & everyone who's taken time to read Change so far ❤️ This chapter was rushed and written horrifically but I just want to know if anyone is still interested, and if I should continue or not. (Which sounds incredibly thirsty). If you have any thoughts or feedback please let me know! Xx
-E.J