She is beautiful. Never in my life have I seen a woman so gorgeous. I stare at her like I'm in a trance. I must be, because it's impossible to look away. Her red lips. Her soft closed eyes. He long blonde hair. Her hips. Her hands in the red sparkly...
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It's been ten years.
Ten years without happiness. Without love. The war is over. It ended after we buried Ashley. I never pursued another relationship. I had no reason to. Everything reminds me of her. I will never know the same love I felt for her. I still dream about her every night. Her and my child.
I never left the military. I had no reason to live. I considered suicide but I want to meet her in heaven. I think it's dumb that the church says you can't go to heaven if you take your own life but I'm not taking any chances. I stayed in the army because that was the only thing that kept me going. My dad died three years ago. I stayed with my mom the whole night while she cried. My little sister is getting married soon. I'm happy for her. I hope her fiancé looks at her the way I looked at Ashley. James is in the army too. He survived the war. Steven's death brought us closer. We visit his grave together. I haven't taken off the necklace Ashley gave me. Not in ten years. I like to believe it was the thing that saved me back at the beach.
I still talk to William, even though I wasn't fond of him at first. He feels like a connection to Ashley. He still works at the club. I was there at his wedding. He now has twins. A boy and a girl. He named the girl Ashley. I cried the night he told me. William also told me about Lacy. She was crushed after Ashley's death and moved away. William despises her. He told me she's now a famous singer after using Ashley's songs to get popular. I know karma will find her someday.
Right now, I'm in Vietnam. To be honest I don't really know what I'm doing here, I just do whatever they tell me to. James is at my side. He's been promoted. He deserves it. I always knew James was different from Steven and me. It showed at the beach. He's a fighter. The flame of a candle in the darkness. Someone to trust.
We're out in the open, grassy land. Bullets are flying, soldiers are dying. James is at my side, shooting the soldiers on the other side. I don't know what's happening. Ever since Ashley's death it feels like I haven't really been awake. Like everything is just a dream and my brain only registers half of it. All I know is that I'm pulling the trigger.
Suddenly blue eyes find mine. I drop my gun. There, right out in the open stands the love of my life, Ashley. What's going on? How is she here? Everything around me seems to fade away. It's quiet now. I can't believe my eyes. She's right there. She isn't pale like the last time I saw her. Her skin looks incredibly soft and there's color in her face. She's wearing that red dress, the one she had on the first time we met. Her beautiful blonde hair flows in the wind. Her red lips are in a smile, and her blue eyes are soft and full of warmth like she's been looking forward to this meeting. The affection from her gaze is almost enough to break me. For a moment I just look at her, then I start running. I can hear James yelling my name, but it sounds faint, like I'm not meant to hear it.
As soon as I reach her, I wrap my arms tightly around her and bury my face in her hair. She's warm. So warm compared to the last time I felt her skin against my fingertips. Tears roll down my cheeks, my body shaking with sobs that haven't left my lips yet. I can feel her slender arms around me. She's hugging me back. She's actually hugging me back.
"Michael" she whispers and I feel like I could collapse from just hearing my name in her soft voice after so many years of pain and longing.
"I missed you" I manage to choke out. I can feel her hand patting my back before she pulls away with a soft smile on her lips.
"It's time to go"
She reaches her hand towards me. I don't hesitate. I grab her hand, almost afraid she'll disappear if I don't hold on. Before I know it, my feet aren't touching the ground anymore. I'm floating in the air. My whole body tingles. I look at her in awe as we float towards the sky. The clouds drift apart to reveal the sun like the heavens above are waiting for our arrival. I turn my head and look down at the ground one last time. My eyes widen when I see my body on the ground. Everything looks so clear now. I'm on my back, blood gushing out from my chest underneath a makeshift bandage. I can see James crouching over me, doing CPR. I can see his mouth moving but I can't hear what he's saying.
I'm dead.
I got shot and died. I look back up at Ashley. She's smiling down at me as we float up towards the sky. Ashley is the angel guiding me to heaven. I'm relieved. Death is scary, but not to me. No. This was long overdue. I've waited for death with open arms. How could I be scared when I knew what was waiting for me from above? I experienced heaven on earth when I met my Ashley. We parted too soon but I always knew I'd see her again when I die. Heaven isn't a place; it's the people you love. Love is heaven. She is my heaven. And I'm sure that'll I meet my little girl up there too, and I'll never, ever let go again.
