Escapism

Prologue

Did you ever think that your whole life will turn 180 degrees from one thing? Did you ever have this feeling when you want to take your revenge but you have no idea from whom? Did you ever have this one person who you depend on your whole life with and he is no longer there for you? Did anyone from your parents betray you and your family to a level that you wanted to get rid of him/her?

Well, all these questions their answers happened to me. My whole life turned 180 degrees not once but twice after ma mére died and second after mon pére died and I became an orphan with only my younger brother to really count on besides my family.

I had this feeling of taking revenge on the person who killed my father but unfortunately me, my family and the members of my father's mafia ---That I now inherited--- couldn't find the killer but that never stopped us from trying we still try and I will keep trying till I found the one who killed my father or till the day I die.

My entire life depended on my father since I ever can remember, he was my everything in this world. He was always there for me in my ups and downs. He taught me that everyone has a weakness and I should notice and take advantage of it especially my enemies.

Even the fact that my father was the head of a mafia it never stopped him from being the caring and thoughtful parent that anyone could ever think and want.

I was obviously daddy's big girl but I was never weak in fact I was considered the toughest one in the whole mafia after my father of course. I was respected by all the people who did business with father and from the fellow mafias and who ever thought of hurting my father he should pass me first or that what I thought as the man who killed my father didn't just pass me no he crunched me and scattered me like a piece of glass into a million pieces.

I still till this day have no idea who killed my father he should be really damn good hider or I was just so damn stupid. But like they say the answers of the hardest questions that we look for are always in front of us we just don't realize it as we always go for the farthest answer. Like for example if someone is looking for his/her glasses they always look around the room, house, office whatever they were in but in fact, there it is on the top their heads.

I have been betrayed by the only person that I never thought it will come from. My mother, she was what you can call her the stereotype housewife and the caring mother or that what I thought. While me, father, brother and the rest of the mafia went to any mission we would always come to tell my mother and ask her about her feelings and thoughts as my father always went to the say "A woman's feeling is wiser than a man's judge".

I never in my whole life thought that my father will be wrong in any of his choices and decisions but that was more than wrong while we were telling her about what happened and our plans she was telling other mafias. I never knew the reason and honestly, I don't want to and like they say "Ignorance is a bliss".

All that happened in my life didn't make me weaker it made stronger and that was the best meaning for the say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and it did make me stronger every single death that I occurred, every single bullet that was shot at me, everything that happened was to make me ready for a bigger event that maybe eventually going to kill me.

Love. Love is a word that I always despised and hated as hate a strong word so does love. They both have polar opposite meaning but have the same power they can differ in someone's life. Love can make someone so happy, it makes you feel secured, protected and unbreakable but in fact, it can break you more than hate could.

As in betrayal, you don't get hurt if your enemy betrayed you, you don't get hurt if someone you don't know betrayed you but you do get hurt if someone that you love, someone that you always cared for, someone you trust betrayed you. It hurts more than a real stab in the back or a bullet in the chest. Love hurts more than hate.

Hate is only a word to suppress our anger to someone, you don't always mean it. It just comes from the adrenaline and rush that you are in. The word hate is so close to the word love so it's why they say "There's a thin line between love and hate" and that doesn't always occur in relationships. Like in my mother, I loved her so much that words can't even suppress but when I knew what she did and how she wanted to destroy us and the whole family. The thin line was cut into a million threads that can never be back together.

Love and hate are not that opposite from each other after all maybe the meaning but it occurs as fast as a bullet coming from a gun fast and unpredictable. You can love someone until you hate him it's why they say "You will keep forgiving the one you love until you hate him" and that's why I didn't forgive my mother because she will do the same mistake until I hate so I hated her already.

Someone came into my life when I was younger when I was a teenager to be exact. I can't remember the face and I never knew why all the memories before 16 years old are just a blur. I can't remember anything from it maybe the voices, the words, the actions but not the faces. My father told me it has to do with my mother's murder but I really didn't give it that much of attention I mean what's the thing that's so important that could have happened to me in my teenage years? Exactly nothing.

Anyway, I believe that I came to this world to take my father's revenge and then I'm out. Maybe I will close this whole mafia deal and live like any other human being but then I think of it deeper and no I'm not like any other human being, I'm Lillian.

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Okay, let's make this clear readers and Wattpaders if your little cute mind even though the slightest bit to steal my book, idea, characters or even a sentence I'm going to hunt you down and I won't fed up till you scream for help ---Kidding---

Don't take any of my ideas, quotes or anything without my permission and try to be nice.

Thanks for anyone who is taking from his/her time to read my story I will be really grateful if you also voted, commented, shared and recommend, thanks.

-Gray XO