Escapism

Chapter 3

03 

Things Getting Weird

Regret, a feeling, and emotion that comes when you do something in the past -doesn't have to be in the late past- and you wonder why the hell you did it. When the consequences of the thing that you've done come to you as a wave of problems.

Regret is when you want to return to the past to prevent yourself from doing this thing. When you want to hide from the whole world even yourself because you're so angry at yourself that you did such thing.

When you regret something it doesn't have to be a bad thing. You can regret doing something as it affected you or because it affected the ones that you love.

I don't know why I regret not killing him but all that I do know that I do.

I kept reading the note again and again and again till I crumbled the piece of paper in my right hand and neared it to my mouth. My hands shook lightly and my breaths were starting to be heavy.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why didn't I kill the freaking man? Where is the cruel and heartless Lillian that everyone feared? What's happening to me, I should have killed that man?

I should have killed Nicolas.

Regret, again.

I groaned loudly and hit the steering wheel so the horn honked. The people around the car were staring at me. I rolled down the car window and glared at them.

"Que cherchez-vous à connards?" (What are you looking at asśholes?) I yelled and kept glaring at them.

I closed the window of the car and hit the steering wheel one last time. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes firmly.

I throw the crumbled note to the other side of the car so it landed on Willy.

He groaned, I looked at him and glared. He widened his eyes but stopped making his stupid noises.

I cupped my forehead with the palms of my hand and made my choice.

I'm going to kill Nicolas.

I put on a cold look on my face and started the engine aggressively.

At the red light, I took the little carton box beside me and took a cigar from it. I light it with the lighter and took a sharp drag.

I relaxed as the toxic substance entered my lungs. I know that it could kill me but the faster I was out of this life the faster innocent and happy people will live.

I moved faster with the car until I made it to the house.

I opened my car door and left it open. I heard Willy coming from behind but I didn't look at him or took him inside, I just left him outside as I wasn't really in the mood.

I opened the door and saw that everyone now was in the kitchen, it was twelve thirty already so they were eating breakfast as I entered.

"Lillian, ma belle come eat with us" I heard Melina's cheerful voice.

How could someone be so happy and cheerful while they were living with a mafia? How could someone like her so innocent be so comfortable with people like me, a killer?

I shot her a cold look that made her entire expressions change. I noticed Sophie giving me a hurt look. I ignored them all and headed to the stairs. Before I take the first step I stopped and remembered meeting Alex today.

"Cyrus, your room--Now," I said thickening my French accent.

I took a glance at them from behind my shoulder and they were all frowning from confusion. I let out a breath and raised an eyebrow at Cyrus.