Open Your Heart (Ben Bruce Fan Fic)

Fight To Find Myself

AN: Hi everyone! I just opened an Etsy store! It would be awesome if you guys could check it out. The link is in the external link. Most of the stuff I'm selling is band related, so if you like Asking Alexandria (which I know you do since you're reading this), Pierce The Veil, Motionless In White, Tonight Alive, Issues, We Are The In Crowd, etc, you'd probably like the stuff I'm selling. Also, everything is custom made, so I can do other bands, too.

Song: At War by Conquer Divide

Lila

"Guess what," I commanded as I sat down on the couch next to Kelsey after my shift at the diner. I would have been with Ben, but he was with the band at the studio and I didn't want to bother him.

"What?" Kelsey responded, her gaze not leaving the telly as the girls of Pretty Little Liars ran around on the screen. For some reason, she loved that show. I had never seen the appeal, though.

"Ben asked me to do merch for the band on their next tour," I told her excitedly. Even though I knew she didn't like Ben, I wanted someone to share my happiness with. I was truly elated at the thought of being able to spend so much time with Ben while getting paid to do so.

"So, you're just gonna quite your job?" she asked. She was always the practical one. I had hoped she would at least act happy for me, but it looked like she was going to stick to being her well-planned out self just like always.

"It's not like it pays a lot or I enjoy it. At least this way, I might actually like my job," I pointed out. I didn't dislike the diner. It was just that it wasn't my favorite place to be. I'd much rather be touring America with my boyfriend than waiting on tables in boring old England.

"And you're ok with just leaving for two months straight?" she questioned, sounding a bit hurt. I hadn't really thought about how this would affect her. She would suddenly be alone in out flat without her best friend.

"Well, I'd rather be here hanging out with you, but I'll get to see America and stuff. It's gonna be fun. I'll still give you my share of the rent, if that's what you're worried about," I responded. Kelsey and I would be friends if I was here or on the other side of the world and I hoped she understood how important our relationship was to me. I would never want to lose her over Ben.

"I don't care about the rent. It's just Ben comes back here after, like, five years and you just drop everything for him. Daniel, Andy, and me have been here when Ben wasn't but he gets first priority," she replied, her voice rising. I hadn't thought she would be so mad. I mean, I was a grown women. It was my life. Why was she so set on judging me about the way I ran it?

"I explained the whole Daniel thing, Kelsey, and you and Andy are still my friends. I just wanna be with Ben. Why is that such a big deal? I thought you would be happy for me," I told her with a sneer. Even though I knew she wouldn't be ecstatic about my newest life decision, I thought maybe she could just be excited with me and focus on the fact that I was going to see a new part of the world instead of the fact that it was because of Ben.

"In what world would I be happy for you? I don't like Ben at all. You're abandoning people that have been there for you for years. Ben is really making you into a different person and I just don't like it," she yelled. Was I really different around? Maybe the way I was when I was with Ben was the real me. After Ben left after high school, I had changed a bit. Maybe Ben brought out my true self and Kelsey just wasn't used to it yet.

"What, just because I break up with my boyfriend and decide to take a new job, I'm a bad person now?"

"The old Lila would never cheat on her boyfriend. She would never leave the good guy for a guy like Ben. She would never just quite her steady job. Ben's changed you and you've only been together for, what, a week?" she explained. My mind was screaming that this was me. It was just a version of me she wasn't used to.

"Kelsey, this is me. As weird as it sounds, this the happy me. I'm finally happy. I'm happy with Ben. I'm happy at the idea of going on tour. I'm happy, Kelsey," I screamed back. I was just so sick of her telling me what was right and wrong. If I was satisfied with my life, who cared what I did?

"How can all this make you happy? You're whole life revolves around a guy who just recognized your existence for the first time in five years a week ago!" she argued. That was where she was wrong. Ben told me I always crossed his mind when we were apart even if we hadn't talked in years.

"My whole life does not revolve around him," I countered even though, the more I thought about it, Ben did consume my life when we were together. Even if high school, I was always trying to look out for him and having to get him out of trouble. Ben was a hand full, but he was worth the extra time you had to put in.

"It doesn't? Everything about you has changed since he's got here," she screamed. Did she really think I was completely different because of one person? Just because I changed a few things in my life didn't mean I wasn't basically the same inside. I was just happier now.

Just as I was about to open my mouth to continue our argument, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I angrily reached into my pocket to take it and saw I had a text from Ben. "Hey babe. We're taking a dinner break. You wanna join?" it read. Anything to get me away from Kelsey, I thought.

"It's him, isn't it? And now you're gonna leave so you can go be with him," Kelsey muttered. I wanted to say that I was going to go be with someone who accepted every part of my, unlike my supposed best friend who was judging everything I did lately, but I bit my tongue.

"Whatever, Kelsey. I'm sorry that you don't agree with my life choices, but you have your own life to run, so just leave my alone," I told her at a normal volume. I just want to tell her to go fuck herself and to never talk to me again, but she was my friend, so I didn't. Even though I was mad her, I still cared about her.

"Fine, then move out if you don't want me in your life," she yelled after me as I shut the door to our flat. She was seriously being so unruly. I knew she was only looking out for me, but she was being very over the top. I quickly texted Ben back to say I would be there in a few and asked if I could spend the night at his place.