Open Your Heart (Ben Bruce Fan Fic)

You Never Said Goodbye

Song: Caraphernelia by Pierce The Veil featuring Jeremy McKinnon

Lila

“Call me when you get there,” I ordered before pulling Ben into a tight hug. I couldn’t believe he was actually leaving. Tomorrow I would wake up and he wouldn’t be in driving distance from my house. My best friend was going to be gone.

“I promise I will, Lil,” Ben assured me after letting me go. The rest of Asking Alexandria was standing in front of Ben’s mum’s minivan, waiting to go to the airport. I was trying hard not to let the tears that had welled up in my eyes roll down my cheeks, but it was hard. “Hey, don’t cry. We won’t be gone that long,” he soothed. I looked up into his beautiful chocolate, knowing that he was just saying that so I wouldn’t burst into tears. They were suppose to be gone from a long time. They were going to record their first album in America and then just right into touring. Even if it was just a week or so, it would feel like a lifetime. When my family used to go on holidays during the summer, I always missed him the most. The only thing was that this was going to be more than a week. It would probably be more like a year. How was I suppose to cope without him for so long?

“Don’t lie to me,” I replied with a sniffle. I hated how he thought I would actually believe him. He reached over and wiped a stray tear from my cheek with his soft finger. “We both know that it’s gonna be a long time,” I added when he didn’t say anything.

“Ok, it is, but you’ll always be my best friend, Lila, even if we’re not in the same country,” he reassured. That was one thing I knew was true. Even if I didn’t see him for years, he would still hold a special place in my heart. He knew things about me that know one else did. He knew how to make me smile when I was at my lowest. I didn’t care how many friends I would have over my lifetime, but I could almost guarantee that none of them would know me like Ben. I felt like I had know him my whole life even if it had only been a few years.

“Come on, Ben. I would like to actually catch this flight!” Danny, Asking Alexandria’s lead singer, yelled. If he was closer, I probably would’ve hit him. My relationship with the other members of the band was pretty good. We were all great friends even if they could be assholes sometimes. 

“I’ll call you when we land,” Ben promised once more before pulling me into another hug. He then joined his bandmates near the minivan and they all climbed in.

It took all my strength not to be selfish and tell him he couldn’t go; that I needed him here with me. Standing on that street corner, I wanted to run after that gray minivan and tell him that I loved him; that I had been in love with him ever since he apologized for being a jerk. It was too late, though. He was going off with his band and leaving me behind. I mean, what did I expect? Would I ever expect him to give up his dream just to be with me? Even if he knew I liked him as more than a friend, I don’t think it would matter. First, there was no way in the hell he liked me back. Second, I was just one girl. Once the band became big, he could get any girl he wanted. He wouldn’t want me. I was nothing special. I was average looking. I wasn’t exciting or anything. Once he had groupies hanging off of him, he wouldn’t need me. As I watched them drive off, I wished that things could stay the way they were. I wished that none of this was happening, but I knew I couldn’t change it.

Ben

As we drove off down the road, I looked back at Lila standing on the sidewalk. She was watching us with her arms crossed and her beautiful dark brown hair waving in the wind. She looked deep in thought. I could only imagine what was going on in that head of hers. She tended to overthink just about everything. As much as I loved her, she needed to stop thinking so much. To be honest, I was wishing I could jump out of the car and run back to her. The most painful part of all this was not knowing when I was going to see her again. 

Over top of that, there was the fact that I was a wuss and never told her how I felt about her. For all I knew, this might be the last time I saw her and she would never know that I was in love with her. I had been in love with her since the first time I saw her. I guess I just had a funny way of showing it, but if I hadn’t liked her so much, I don’t think I would’ve apologized for treating her so badly on her first day of school. I could be an ass most of the time and through it all, she had stuck by me. I guess that was why I liked her so much. Out of all the girls I had dated, they had all left, but not Lila. She was standing on a street corner crying because I left.

Now I was the one leaving, but it still felt terrible. I was going to get to live my dream, but I was still worrying about the girl who held my heart in my hands without knowing it. Even though I knew that I would never forget about her, something deep down told me that this might be the last time I saw her for awhile. I just had this distinct feeling that I had lied to her even after she told me not to. I had told her she’d always be my best friend, but something was telling me we would grow apart; that I would forget to call her and she wouldn’t reply to my texts after awhile. I had no idea how long we’d be gone, but I knew it would be a long time and that we’d both meet new people to be replace each other with. Maybe I was just being like Lila, overthinking things. Maybe I was just being pessimistic. I could hope, right? I hoped Lila and I would always be friends and maybe one day I’d tell her how I felt. The pessimistic voice in the back of my mind was telling me that she would never like me back. She was beautiful, she could get any guy she wanted. She sure as hell could do better than me.

“Ben, stop thinking so much and get your stuff,” Danny commanded, pulling me out of my thoughts. When I looked out the window, all I could see was the airport. As I hopped out of the car, I had this desire to just run away; run back to Lila; but I stopped myself. This was what I wanted, right? I wanted to be a rockstar. I was getting a chance to live me dream, so why was I second guessing myself? There was no going back now. I was in this for better or for worse. Without Lila.