004 , [ mike wheeler x f!reader ] ST5 FINISHED, UNDER EDITING

FALLING APART

FALLING APART
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CHAPTER TWO

Hawkins, Indiana
NOVEMBER, 1987

A FEW WEEKS AFTER IT HAPPENED, Mike stayed in his room since. At first, it had been because he couldn't stand the looks. The careful glances of his family members. The way they would said his name like he might break down if they said it in a specific tone.

Getting out of bed felt impossible, moving even felt wrong. Like the world decided that since she was gone, everyone should move on, and he was the only idiot still hanging on.

A notebook with blank sheets of paper sat in his lap, its cover bent from being opened and closed too many times. He would start writing the sentences then tearing them out when it didn't feel right.

This time, he forced himself to keep it.

To my dearest Y/n,

It's been a few weeks since you left.

Mike swallowed hard, his back pressed against the bed frame as he sat on the floor. He hated this, he hated all of it.

Everyone keeps saying you saved us by doing what you did.

His hands shook as he wrote.

They say it like it makes it okay.

It doesn't.

His chest tightened painfully.

I still see you every time I close my eyes.

You looked at me like you already knew I'd never forgive you for it even though you insisted I would understand.

A tear slid down his nose, dripping onto the page.
Mike brushed it away with the back of his hand, furious at himself, furious at everything, then kept going.

I scream your name in my head all the time. I think if I do it enough, maybe you'll hear it.

That's stupid. I know it is.

They tell me you wouldn't want me like this.

I promised you a future, remember? And you looked at me like you believed it would happen. I thought we would run away together.

Away from this shitty town.

Then you did that.

I don't know how I'm supposed to live in a world where you don't exist.

I keep thinking about the things we did.

Like that one summer where I convinced you to sneak out to the Starcourt Mall. You were scared, but still did it anyway.