Teach Me How To Love

Chapter 4

I keep imagining it over and over in my head until I won't to let anyone touch me, afraid I may lash out, that I may cry. I haven't allowed myself to do any of those things and it's getting much harder with my sisters watching me closely. I'm okay; I'm just not emotionally stable yet. I can eat and act like a normal person, but I can't sleep and I won't let Sasuke touch me. It's hard to reject him because he looks just as broken as I feel. Only I can see what this is doing to him as he struggles with struggling with me.

I found him on the couch this morning smelling of alcohol and didn't bother to wake him. He looked at peace for once.

"I love you." I whispered as I ran a hand through his hair, making myself comfortable on the floor and waiting for his eyes to flutter open.

He woke up with a groan, squeezing his eyes shut before opening them and as soon as his eyes met mine he smiled, but it quickly slipped as his eyes scanned over my face.

"We need to talk about this." I mumbled, sitting down on the table and passing him the Advil and water I had sat on the coffee table as I waited. He took them hesitantly, but downed them both before making himself comfortable and looking up at me. He didn't seem like the boy who left this village or the man who came back into it, but he was still Sasuke, and I watch him as he dropped all emotion.

"I-I think you should find someone else." I began, shifting on the table and rubbing my hand over my arm as his intense gaze became a confused one.

"What?"

"I think we should just let it go."

"You mean the last two years of our lives?!" He yelled, standing from the couch and towering over me. I bowed my head, rubbing at my eyes and temples before looking back up the man who now looked skeptical.

"I-I don't think I can handle reviving your clan." I whispered, but he seemed to hear me just fine as he slowly sat back down on the couch, but it was too late to calm down now.

The tears that I had been holding in since we left that hospital were now rolling down my face and I didn't bother to wipe them away as he watched me.

"Ki-"

"Just no!" I cut him off, standing up from the coffee table and heading towards the kitchen hoping that he wouldn't follow me. I felt sick and broken as I tried to stop crying, but the tears kept coming.

I held onto the kitchen counter and stood there until I composed myself, before heading out of the kitchen and then out of the door.

I couldn't stay there...but I don't know what to do. I let out a sigh and headed for my dad's house hoping that the three of them had roomed at his place.

I was greeted by a masked face and a tired eye as my dad stood in front of me waiting for me to tell him what was wrong.

Even though I looked like a complete replica of the man in younger form, we had our differences, which separated us. I had a hard time explaining something like this, but by the look on his face, I had a feeling the triplets had told him already.

It took a lot out me to have to relay the story and I knew that this wouldn't be the last time, but it hurt.

"Are you sure you've thought about this Kyo?" He asked, leaning against table next to where my head lay as I spluttered silently trying to catch my breath. This was Kakashi Hatake, my dad. He had seen me cry before, but I still felt ashamed of myself.

"No," I muttered truthfully and listened as he moved and I felt myself being pulled up out of my chair and into a pair of arms, that were the only thing holding me up.

It was the closest that I had gotten to physical contact in a while and it felt good.

He led me over to the couch and sat me down on it, instructing me to lay down, and then he disappeared into the kitchen and I was left to grasp a couch pillow and try to steady my breathing.