Amnesia (Michael Clifford)

Fourteen

I stare at Ashton, patiently awaiting his response. He looks nervous. 'You don't have to answer.' I whisper softly.

He lets out a big sigh, 'it's not that I don't want to answer, it's just a complicated answer.'

I slowly wiggled out of Michael's hold. 'Where are you going?' Michael mumbled. 'I'm just going to get some air, I won't be gone long.' I whisper and kiss his cheek. Ashton follows me outside and we take a seat at the patio table.

'Why did you follow me out here?' I ask him.

'It's not Mads, that I'm in love with.' He ran his hands through his curly dirty blonde hair and gripped it tightly.

'Then why are you sleeping with her?'

'Because it's as close as I can get to the person I'm in love with.'

'Which is?'

'Oh for the love of good Ali, I'm in love with you. It's you. I'm in love with the way your blue eyes sparkle like the ocean, how your dark hair cascades down your back, and how your ivory skin is soft to the touch.'

I held my breath, no, no, no, no, no! Ashton can not be in love with me. This is just a dream, nothing more. This isn't real. 'Ash, I'm in love with Michael, I mean I love you, but more like a best friend or brother. I'm sorry.'

'How can you love him? I mean, he's my best friend, my brother but the things he's done, I don't understand how you can let all of that just pass.' Ashton let's out, but not out of anger, more out of concern.

'What do you mean the things he's done?' I question, my brain wanting to know the answer, but my heart not wanting to know.

'The day you met, it wasn't by accident. The fact that he took your virginity while you were under the influence. He's even the reason you got kicked out of school. Even before we came on tour, he was obsessed with you. You were all he ever talked about.' Ashton explains.

I took in a deep breath, 'Ashton, you do know he lived next door in that house' I pointed to the big white house to the left of ours, 'for years. He was my best friend.'

'It's funny how he remembers things and you don't.' he mumbles under his breath.

'Ash, just stop, please just stop. I don't want to hear anything else.'

'Because you're afraid of the truth?'

'Because I don't want to listen to this anymore!' I shout at him. I left the table and ran inside. Tears threatening to fall down my cheeks.

'Ali?' The sound of Michael's voice behind me made me jump. 'Are you okay?'

'I thought you were asleep.' I whisper.

'I woke up when you left, you and Ashton were out there for a while.'

'Nothing happened, we were just talking.' I assure him.

'I didn't think anything did happen. Ali what's wrong?'

'Nothing I just want to get some sleep.'

'Then let's go to bed again okay?'

I followed Michael back our spot on the palate. I faced away from where Ashton was laying and cuddled into Michael.

***

'Mikey, I need to talk to you' were the first words out of my mouth when I woke up.

'Of course.'

I grabbed his hand and we walked up to my balcony, where we could talk in private.

'Last night I was talking to Ashton, and he said some things and I just want to know if they're true or not.'