How To Save A Life (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"We have a choice. To live, or to exist."

                           When I pulled up my laptop the next morning, I quickly checked my Tumblr account. I had '30 followers', which I assume worked the same was as Twitter did. I felt my heart drop when I saw that I had 0 messages in my ask box. I looked over to Harry's locked door, and I took a few breaths to calm down. I hope he's alive.

                           I pulled up his account, and let out a loud breath that he had posted a status ago about how it's been almost a month since he's eaten a meal. I furrowed my eyes, confused. He hasn't been eating? Surely i should have noticed that. I lived with him, I should have known. If the feeling of guilt in my stomach, I remembered his words yesterday.

                         'You promised to bring me home dinner but you were too busy with your girlfriend'. While I hadn't been with Eleanor, I had promised him dinner and I had completely forgotten about it, and now he could starve to death. I let out a shaky breath, rolling my neck as I grabbed my phone to order some Thai food, Harry's favourite that I always complained about the smell. I wouldn't complain this time though.

                          I st my laptop on the table, going and knocking on Harry's door. "Go away. " I sighed. "I ordered food and it will be here in an hour. Then we should leave for the concert tonight.." I heard a sob escape his mouth, and all I wanted to do was rush inside to hug him. It wasn't fair, I wish I had made a key of all the rooms when we first moved in so I could just go and hold him and tell him that everything was going to be alright.

                          Sitting back down on the couch, I scrolled down through his other postings from today. He'd posted a picture of his wrist where it said 'Day 800 of cutting, no one has even said anything'. My heart was in my throat now. I can't...I can't deal with this. I knew that confronting him would just push him over the edge, but I couldn't sit by and let this happen. As I scrolled even farther, I see he posted my question and answered it.

Dear bitch who thinks he knows my life,

I groaned after reading the first line, not sure if I even wanted to continue reading.

First of all, how dare you say you love me. You don't even know what love is, you ignorant twat.

Second of all, you don't know me, and you don't know half the shit I am going through. My sister thinks im disgusting because apparently the fact that I'm in love with my heterosexual roommate just absolutely repulses her. My band is going to kick me out. My entire body is covered head to toe in scars that I can't seem to even sleep on. My stomach is concanve and I'm a disgusting piece of shit who doesnt even look like a decent human being.

Third of all, I'm not a good guy. If I was a good guy I'd be happy that he found a girl to love and that he's happy, but no. I plot how to kill her. Not that I would do that, but I've written down hundreds of ways that I could get that evil bitch out of my life.

Fourst or whatever the hell number we're on, no, I will not come talk to some stranger on the internet who probably still faps to straight porn and who probably has no friends and runs some fucking blog but retweets shit like funny cat gifs and news articles relating to absolutely nothing fucking relevant.

And lastly, I hope you feel so much more fucking sorry when I finally slit my neck and post a live video stream of it.

Cunt.

　

　

                       Harry wasn't like this. But I checked and double checked, and sure enough Harry had posted it. I re-read it, slower, trying to comprehend everything in it. From being in love with me, to hating my girlfriend, and worse of all, the fact that he was planning on killing himself, and it seemed like he would do it soon.

             I jumped when the doorbell rang, but I just threw all my tear-stained tissues away before answering the door. I payed, and gave a generous tip before shutting and locking the door. I stared down at the food, and took a deep breath, gringing a bit at the smell. I had to try my hardest not to complain or upset Harry. Most of all, I had to pretend like I didn't know everything.

                      "Harry? I got food. It's Thai." I heard the typing stop, and I thought he was going to come out but all he did was throw something at the door. "Just leave me alone. Besides, I don't want to have to hear you complain about how bad it smells or the way I chew. Just not in the mood, Louis." I knocked again, and I just kept knocking until he finally came out.

                      I handed him a plate, putting his food on it for him and handing him his fork. "I'm not even hungry" He said, just mixing the noodles around a bit and giving them a look as if they were the devil. I took a forkful of mine, putting it near his mouth. "I'm not your h- I'm not your girlfriend. We are not feeding each other." He said, but his tone lightened a bit.

                   "Actually, could you?" I nodded, a bit overly enthusiastic. I slowly fed him, and he only ate a few bites before he said he wasn't hungry, but it was enough to make me feel like I had done something. I put my hand on his thigh. "I know you want to go back to bed but I really need your help picking my outfit. Please?"

                     When we were firts put together, picking matching outfits was mine and Harry's favourite thing. Since he's started...yeah....We haven't done that. To my surprise, he said yes, standing up and walking with me into my room. I sat on the bed, watching as he winced in pain everytime he stretched his arms to look through my closet. I almost winced in pain as well, but it was because watching my best friend in this kind of pain hurt me.

                    He pulled out a shirt that used to be his but he grew out of it, and then handed me a pair of suspenders with a blazer. I normally didn't wear suspenders anymore, but I didn't care. If he wanted me too, I would. I hugged him, tightly, not caring when he flinched away from me.

                        "Thanks Harry, I love you." I said, and he just pushed me away. "Whatever." He mumbled before storming off to his room. I looked down at the outfit he picked out, and I just missed this.

I missed my Harry.

Hello my curlies!

So, sorry for this chapter. It's a bit iffy but meh. Hope you like it!

XX