Who Are You?

XI

Stevie, Lindsey and the girls spent a couple more days at Barbara and Jess', before they returned to California and Lindsey took the three to where Stevie previously lived, as she was so set on not needing his help anymore. The house was well kept, thanks to Stevie's brother, but it was obvious nobody had lived there for a long time. Lindsey had Stevie make a list for all things she needed and he drove to a grocery store, coming back with loads of bags. When everything was finally in its place, they had a cup of coffee and Lindsey left. 

The house was huge, Stevie started thinking how she used to live in it, did she have a housekeeper? She had to, come on, being this famous rockstar, like Lindsey had painted her image to be, there was no way she had time to clean this house herself. While her girls were in their, now separate, rooms, arranging their own things, well toys, Stevie wandered from one room to another, looking at pictures, picking up her beautiful crystal angels, studying every single one of them, she also came a cross her record collection and it was a lot bigger than Lindsey's. She scanned through it and found the Buckingham Nicks LP. She loved listening to it with Lindsey, which also led them to that kiss, so she put it on and let it play, while her attention was caught by another pile - her journals. 

Stevie chose the one which seemed to her to be the oldest and sat down by the record player. She skipped through pages, reading bits and pieces, when she stopped and focused on a longer entry.

'It's completely Lindsey's fault. Moving to freaking Los Angeles? I know we have no future with Fritz, but come on! You've got yourself in big big trouble, falling in love with that man, Steph... But he made me believe his every word. And I do feel confident, somehow, I feel like we will make it. It won't be easy, but we have each other for support, going through with this massive change. My parents aren't happy to say the least. They kept repeating that if I stay in college, I will have a definite future, I would become a teacher and lead a boring life, somewhere in the suburbs, with a Labrador and white picket fence. That's not me, I want my life to be exciting. I'm so tired of pretending, it's fun to sing into a hairbrush, as if I'm Janis Joplin, but I want another girl doing the same thing in her bedroom, feeling that she's Stevie Nicks for a moment. Maybe I'm too much of an optimist, maybe my dreams are too far-fetched, but I made up my mind and I am going to do this. With Lindsey. I wouldn't even consider if it wasn't with him. God... I love him so much, he's... I feel like we've wasted so much time, obeying that stupid fucking rule of no guy from the band dating me. I've never met anyone like Lindsey Buckingham before. He does things to me... I see him, I see that smile of his and those eyes, and... and I'm THIS close to just tearing my clothes off in front of him right there and then, wherever we may be. I'm sorry, Mom and Dad, but it's how it is. I got it bad, so bad. What would make me the happiest person in the whole world would be if we move to Los Angeles, become successful, have our career, but at the same time, we're settled down - married and with a couple of children. I hope some higher power is with me right this moment and my wish comes true. If only I'm not wishing for too much...'

"Apparently, I did..." Stevie sighed, closing her journal, once she finished reading. 

"Who are you talking to, Mommy?" Aria sat down next to her mother, picking up the Buckingham Nicks record. 

"No one, sweetie."

"Is that you?" The girl pointed at the cover and Stevie turned to look what she was talking about.

"I... well, yes. Let's put that away though."

"Why? You look so pretty."

"Thank you, but I don't feel very comfortable with you looking at it..." Stevie said and took the vinyl and put it back in the sleeve. "Where's your sister?"

"Mabel is drawing in her room, but she said to call her down, when you start making dinner, she wants to help."

"To help me make a mess?"