Who Are You?

XIV

The following days went all the same; Lindsey kept calling the house phone and ringing the doorbell and Stevie refused to let him in. Barbara couldn't bear the tension anymore as she was caught in the middle of it, in a way, Lindsey begging her to open up and Stevie staring at her so she wouldn't. So, she left, heading back to Arizona. Thankfully, Stevie was feeling better by now, she couldn't exactly exercise or anything like that, but she could look after her girls on her own. 

But when after a week or so, Lindsey's visits stopped, suddenly she realized what a huge mistake she made by pushing him away and just how stupid she was acting. She needed him, of course she did, and she also wanted him to be with her at all times. She really fell in love with him again or maybe the feeling had simply never gone away. 

It took her a lot to overlook her usual stubbornness, when she called herself a cab and gave the driver Lindsey's address. Before leaving, Stevie asked the neighbor next door to spend an hour or so with the twins. She hesitated a little, once the car stopped. Am I doing the right th-, of course I'm doing the right thing! She climbed out, still wincing slightly, and went to the front door of the house. The car was in the driveway, so that was good news, at least he was home. 

Stevie waited for Lindsey to answer the door, getting nervous because it took him a while. Lindsey definitely looked surprised, seeing her standing on his porch, but he didn't think twice about asking her in. They sat down in the living room, Lindsey leaving a gap between them, that Stevie closed instantly, wrapping her arms around him as she started apologizing profusely. 

"I don't know what got into me, I wasn't thinking, concentrated on pushing you away, Lindsey. I'm so sorry, truly. But I understand if you can't forgive me." He sighed, his arms circling her waist as he pulled her onto his lap. "Ouch!"

"Oh God, baby I'm sorry!"

"No, it's fine. You didn't hurt me, it's just... I get this... stretching feeling, that's all." 

"Is the scar healing well?"

"I suppose. It's definitely there. I hate it, it's so ugly... But it's not why I came here. I want you to forgive me for me acting so immature. I wasn't in my right mind at all."

"I understand, I know it's hard for you, but what's in here..." Lindsey placed his hand on her chest, above where her heart was. "... is a lot more important to me than the way you look on the outside. Which you don't have to worry about either, because you take my breath away every time I lay my eyes on you."

She couldn't stop the small smile breaking her lips, as she leaned her forehead against his. "You're so good to me."

"And you know why?"

"Because you love me."

"Yes, that's exactly why." He kissed the tip of her nose and drew back a little. "There's nothing to forgive. You were hurting, you are hurting and I can't be angry at you."

"You mean that?" She looked up at him, asking sincerely.

"Absolutely. We're okay. I'm glad you came back to me." He leaned to kiss her again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"About the baby?"

"Yeah. Only if you need to, I'm not forcing you to open up."

She didn't exactly want to, but keeping it all to herself wasn't very helpful either. "I'm not sure what to say really. It definitely affected me, I wasn't expecting anything like that. But I think that maybe because I didn't know I was pregnant, this loss isn't so hard to deal with. Of course I cried and I think about it, I wonder if it had been a girl or a boy, you know... how they would have looked like... It occupies my thoughts from time to time, but I hadn't had a chance to love them, so... It's simply the knowledge that there was a baby growing inside of me, without me having a chance to have it."

Without realizing it, Lindsey was rocking them both as he rubbed her back while she spoke. "I mean... it was Dave's, right?"

"Unfortunately. That night when he forced himself on me... I would have never been able to tell that child they were planned and born out of love. Even if David's not around me anymore, he still continues to hurt me."

"As sad as it is, let's hope it's the last of him for you."

"I truly hope so. I... I hate him, I do. He took away so much from me." Stevie sniffled, wiping under her eyes. "But I don't want to talk about him anymore."

"What do you want to talk about then?"

"When are you coming back to us?"

Lindsey smiled, lacing his fingers through hers, then he lifted their joined hands and kissed the top of hers. "We can go now if you wish to. Besides, were are the girls?"

"I asked this nice lady living next door to us, to look after them for a bit."

"I think it's time we go and bring them home, then do something, the four of us. What do you say?"

"I say yes to that." Stevie cradled his face in her hands and gave him a nice long kiss, then wiped off her lip gloss and they stood up to leave.

But before doing so, Lindsey ran upstairs to grab some things and Stevie waited in the hallway for him to rejoin her. He had just climbed the last step, when the phone started ringing. He put his bag down and answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Lindsey." 

Oh, God, not her... "Kristen, hi." He replied, looking at Stevie, showing off his irritation.

"Or maybe I should have said Daddy to be?"