Who Are You?

XVI

Lindsey closed the door behind him carefully not to wake anyone in the house, when he came back. He kicked off his shoes and tip toed upstairs, passing the twin's rooms, as he checked on the both of them. He entered the bedroom, again, trying his hardest not to wake Stevie up. He felt relieved that she was sleeping already, but he also felt incredibly guilty once he slipped under the covers beside her and she naturally drifted closer to him. I should have told her where I was going... He kissed the top of her head and drew her even closer, enfolding her in his arms.

The following morning, Lindsey woke up alone. He felt disappointed, when he stretched out his arm and Stevie's side of the bed was empty. Morning cuddles with her was his favorite part of the day. When he glanced at the alarm clock, he saw it was well after 11, so she definitely had to be in the kitchen by now, making breakfast for Aria and Mabel. 

As if it could wash the uneasy feelings he had, going behind Stevie's back to see Kristen, Lindsey took a hot shower, before he went to his favorite girls. He shaved too and ran a comb through his unruly curls in attempt to tame them down, but it was no use. He put on clean jeans and a t-shirt from the bag he brought along the night before and left the room, smelling pancakes right away.

Lindsey entered the kitchen, Stevie facing away from him, so he looked over at the twins, putting a finger up to his lips, indicating for them to stay silent, as he walked over to her from behind, embracing her. 

"Good morning." He whispered into her ear, a wide grin breaking across her lips. 

"Morning to you, too." She looked over her shoulder and he snuck a kiss, giving her a squeeze before pulling away.

"Mommy and Lindsey sitting in the tree..." Aria started singing, making Stevie gasp and Lindsey laugh, as he walked over to the girls and kissed them both on the forehead. 

"That is none of your business, young lady!" Stevie scolded her child with a spatula. 

"I think we should run for cover, Mabel!" Aria took her giggling sister by the hand, as they both jumped off the chairs. "Mommy doesn't like funny songs about her and her boyfriend!" They both ran out of the kitchen, chuckling, and upstairs to play. 

Lindsey shook his head, laughing too, as he took a seat at the table, where a cup of coffee was made for him and an empty plate, with silverware next to it, set. "How have they just turned seven?" 

"No, I don't have a clue either." Stevie said, turning off the stove as she took the pancakes out of the pan and put them onto the plate for Lindsey. 

"Thanks." He said, taking the hold of her hand, before she got to walk away. 

"You're welcome." She smiled down at him and proceeded to start cleaning up.

"Did you have a good night's sleep?"

"Oh, yes! I feel great today. I think you hadn't left the house yet, when I fell asleep. The recent events taking their toll on me. Speaking of that, I remembered I have to go for a check up today. Are you busy with anything?"

"I'll take you."

"Great. I shouldn't be long. The doctor will just take a look at the scar, how it's healing and ask me a bunch of questions."

"It's no problem for me, Stevie." He assured her and then he finished eating in silence, all the while he was thinking about how to tell her about Kristen and the child she was carrying, that was his.

"What's up with you?" Stevie asked, when she finished washing the dishes and had studied him for a little while. 

"Me? Um... nothing." Lindsey shrugged, drinking the last of his coffee.

"You're thinking about something, I know it, so why don't you just spill?"

He exhaled deeply, sitting the empty mug of coffee on the table, avoiding her eyes. "If I do, I'm afraid you'll hate me and ask me to leave."

She took a seat next to him, placing her hand over his. "Secrets don't do any good to relationships. If we're going to do this, I want us to be honest to each other. Whatever it is, I'm sure we can get through it together."

He leaned back, taking her hand, as if it would give him strength to speak. "Yesterday... when Kristen called, she told me something that I just had no idea how to react about. It was the last thing I thought I would hear her tell me." 

"She's pregnant, isn't she?" Stevie sighed, but she didn't pull away from his touch.

Lindsey nodded, lifting his eyes up to meet hers. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think..."

"It's okay. I mean... it's okay if she got pregnant before you started chasing after me."

He couldn't believe she managed to be humorous about this. "Before. She's eleven weeks pregnant. It happened before Paris."

"So, what happens now?" Stevie asked, fearing the worst.

"Don't hate me, please..."

"You're leaving me, aren't you?" Her eyes watery, as she looked at him, but he shook his head. 

"No! Absolutely not! I'm afraid you'll hate me, because when I said I was going back to my place for some things, what I really did, was go to see Kristen. I had to talk to her."

"Oh... Well, alright. Okay, it's not alright, because you lied to me, but alright."

Lindsey smiled a little, bringing her hand to his lips. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"Why were you so scared of telling me?"

"Because of what happened... I didn't know how you would take it. You just lost a baby and here I am, having one with practically a one night stand."

"Lindsey, I want to ask something of you. Don't treat me like I'm fragile, because I'm not. And I would really appreciate it if we could put that behind us, okay? I don't want to hear about that ever again."

"Okay, of course. I'm sorry."

"Now... What does Kristen want of you?"

"Honestly, not much. She just wants me to be a father to our child and that's all. She said we're not in love, never were and she doesn't want a family with me, she doesn't want us to get married or anything, so... The way she put it, she wants me to visit once the baby is born, to attend their birthday parties and such."

"And you're okay with that? Because let me tell you, that is not much, like you just said it yourself. I couldn't imagine if David had my girls and I only got to see them, when he let me. My daughters are the most important thing in my life and I would die for them, I would kill for them, I would do anything for them. I can't imagine how you're going to cope with just... with bits and pieces of being a father."

"It's a lot different from you and Dave. You two lived together for years, bringing your children up together from the very beginning. And I... well I won't get to experience it, but I know I'll manage. It won't be like when Kristen lets me to see my kid, no. She said, whatever and whenever I want. Besides, we can talk until the next morning about this, but really, it won't be any other way, because neither she nor I want to be together. We'll just focus on being the best parents to our child and that's that."

"Good, because I don't want to see you go again."

"You won't, baby. I'm here. I'm here to stay." 

"I love you."

Lindsey smiled big now, kissing her on the lips. "And I love you."

It made him wonder often, was their relationship so much better now, because Stevie didn't remember how they were in the past, all the arguments, hatred and jealousy... or was it because they finally grew up. Either way, he couldn't be happier.