Things Bucky Barnes Doesn't Do Well

Non-Lethal Competition, Part III

"Driving isn't exactly my forte," Clint said, fletching an arrow.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Is having fun part of your forte?"

Clint shrugged and Natasha giggled. Everyone turned to look at her, since giggling wasn't usually her modus operandi. At least, not unless she was undercover. "Clint is plenty of fun in the field. He's pretty cranky when he's home, though. Just wants to sleep all the time," she explained affectionately.

"What do you want us to do, Stark?" Steve asked, preemptively avoiding any further side conversations.

Tony grinned. "I have an indoor racetrack downstairs, just put the finishing touches. We can race go-karts on it!"

"I don't remember racing turning out well last time for you," Natasha said dryly, and Tony paused.

"Yeah, well, I don't expect any Russian assassins to try to kill me," he shot back, glaring at her, then at Bucky.

Bucky threw up his hands. "Definitely not my intention," he assured Tony, while Natasha just sat back with a satisfied smirk on her face.

"I'm sure you'll be perfectly safe," Steve put in, hiding his amusement.

"Just racing, though? I mean, your stuff is usually a bit more unique than that," Clint said in the ensuing silence.

Tony stopped glaring at Natasha and turned to Clint. "Yeah, well, you know me. It won't be boring," he answered with a grin.

"How interesting is it going to be?" Bruce asked quietly.

"You'll be fine," Tony assured him at the same time Steve said "Maybe you want to sit this one out."

The two of them turned to look at each other, and Bruce smiled slowly. "How about we go check out the track and then I'll decide?"

"Good idea," Thor said suddenly, and everyone turned to look at him. He could be surprisingly quiet, for someone so physically obvious.

"You heard 'em, let's go," Tony suggested, getting to his feet. The others followed suit and headed down to the elevator.

"Hmm," Natasha said when it opened, looking at the small space dubiously. "Perhaps someone could have installed two elevators," she suggested.

Tony rolled his eyes at her. "I'll head down first to get things ready. Barton, Banner, and Thor should come with me to help. You think the rest of you can fit?"

"I'm sure we can," Natasha replied sweetly, and Tony snorted.

The hallway was much more spacious with them gone, and Bucky felt somewhat relieved not to be stuffed into an elevator. Even if it was with friends. He wasn't fond of tight spaces these days, and especially not being surrounded.

"So, any plans this weekend?" Natasha asked conversationally.

"Nope," Steve answered shortly.

Natasha fixed him with a frown. "What about Sharon?"

"What about her?"

Bucky smiled at Steve's tone; it was very familiar. Steve had never liked talking about dames.

"You could ask her out," Natasha told him.

"Already did. She's in the field," Steve replied, grinning at Natasha's surprise.

"Well, good job," she grumbled as the elevator reappeared and they got on board. "So, Barnes, you got any plans?"

"Almost never," Bucky replied affably.

She smiled at him. "You know, that sounds pretty good."

He returned the expression and then the elevator dinged and opened.

Seeing an indoor track was certainly impressive. It was quite large, filling the whole floor. There was a row of go-karts parked near the elevator and the others were crowded around them, listening to Tony explain something.

"This releases a net, and this one lets out a little oil to get the guy behind you to slip," he was saying.

"It does what?" Steve asked, somewhat incredulous.

Tony grinned at him. "It's not just racing, O Captain, my Captain. It's more fun if you have some offense and defense going on."

Steve looked over the karts in silence for a moment, the others waiting for his opinion. "Don't you think this could get someone killed?" he said finally.

"It's perfectly safe," Tony assured him. No one looked particularly convinced.

Natasha folded her arms over her chest and cocked her head at Tony. "Are you going to be wearing the suit while you race?"

"No," Tony replied, sounding surprised.

"Then I'm sure the rest of us will be fine," she said with a smirk.

Tony didn't look too happy about that assessment. "Well, let us try out Stark's machines," Thor suggested, looking surprisingly excited by the prospect. Bucky wondered if the god could drive and could see the same thought occurring to the others.

"I think I'll just watch the first race," Bruce said, and settled himself against the wall by the elevator, out of the way as he preferred to be.

After a few moments of confusion, everyone was in a kart. It was a little unlike Tony not to have made ones personalized for each of them, but he told them he would make whatever modifications they would want. They were all the same for now, which was probably good. Evened the playing field.

JARVIS provided a countdown, and then they were off. Bucky had driven minimally in his life, though possibly more than Steve. Not as often as the others, more than likely. But precision wasn't a requirement here, since bumping into each other wasn't really an issue (not preferred, perhaps, but not a problem). Tony was, naturally, the first one to use any of the gadgets, and then Bucky found it difficult to both drive and remember which button released what.

Tony won; it was only to be expected. He was, after all, the only one familiar with the tech. Clint came in second, and Natasha was not happy about coming in third. Thor and Bucky tied for fourth, and Steve was last. Bucky suspected Steve had wanted to stay behind him, to keep an eye on him, which rankled a little bit. But he didn't say anything.

Bruce joined in after that, and they raced the afternoon away. By the end of it, most of them were fairly covered in grease, the track was filthy, but they were all laughing. It was a good day.

"Alright, JARVIS, who is our champion?" Tony asked as he wiped off his face and hair with a towel.

"I didn't realize I was supposed to be keeping track, sir," JARVIS replied politely and Tony shot it a dirty look.

"Most of your Midgardian games choose a champion," Thor put in, smiling.

"Come on, JARVIS, I'm sure you can go back over the footage," Natasha said sweetly.

"Come on, JARVIS," everyone else chanted until the AI let out a heavy sigh.

"Mr. Stark won 4 races, Agents Barton and Romanoff 3 each, Dr. Banner 1, Sgt. Barnes and Capt. Rogers 2 each, and ... Thor 5." The pause was perhaps a consideration of what title to give the god.

Thor grinned like a cat, while Tony looked confused and counted on his fingers. "Why would you give them to us in that order?" Tony asked cantankerously.

The AI didn't respond, but Thor clapped him on the back. "It was a splendid competition, my friend. I would enjoy a rematch at a later date," he said graciously, and Tony smiled.

"Well, I need a shower," Natasha grumbled and headed for the elevator. The others agreed and followed her, silently deciding to squeeze everyone in, since they were slippery enough anyway.

P?;