Illicit Sky ✓

Special Chapter 2 - Angelus

Did I regret a single thing in this life? I'm not sure. Maybe it's that I didn't lead a life where I could be deserving enough to ask for another chance to live. To all the lives I crushed with these bare hands, asking for a chance to live is nothing more than shamelessness.

If there's one thing I'll never regret, it's you—and the things I did to keep you safe. Even if it means I have to go down to hell after. It doesn't matter if I spend eternity burning, atoning for every sin I've committed... as long as you're safe. If I had to do it all over again, I'd put myself right back there and take the same punishment, without hesitation.

But at this moment, I wish I could live just a little longer so I can hold you and assure you that everything will be alright. But since I'm too weak to say anything, all I can do is watch you cry and beg me not to leave you alone.

Fuck...

If I knew this would happen, I should've led an honest life.

"D-Don't scare me! Please, talk! P-Please say something, Angelus! Please! Angelus!" The desperation in her voice was like a million knives stabbing into my numbing chest.

I wanted to get up. I wanted to wipe those tears off her cheeks. Her beautiful blue eyes were now bloodshot and filled with fear. I've seen her lose herself. There were times when I thought she was beyond saving.

But right now, the way she holds me and screams while looking at me with those eyes, there's something inside me that tells me that after this... after I close my eyes, she will lose it for real.

And I'll never be there for her to keep her sanity intact.

I'm starting to lose all my senses. I don't feel her arms anymore, and there's no way I can blink my eyes. It seems like fatigue and blood loss finally caught up with me.

So while she's here, screaming her lungs out, crying for me, all I can do is watch and feel the subtle throb in my chest. The longer I hear her and see her like this, the harder it is to breathe.

I wish I could at least hug her.

I tried to move even just my fingers, but I can't feel them anymore. She pulled me into a tight hug, and all I could feel was the pressure against my throbbing chest. Something in me flinched as she screamed, the kind of scream that would bring discomfort to anyone who hears it.

"Oh God! Please! Don't t-take Angelus away from me! Please!" She screamed, begging God with her raw and strained voice. "Not Angelus! Please! I'm begging! D-Don't take him from me!"

My lips parted, my eyes burning as I tried to speak, but all that came out were slow, pathetic breaths. I wanted to curse myself.

What have I done to her? If I was just going to die like this, I never should have meddled with her life in the first place.

Kung ngayon pa lang, ganito na siya, paano na lang kung wala na ako? Sinong magbabantay sa kaniya? How... how can I take care of her?

No... I don't want to die.