Illicit Sky [✓]

Chapter 41

I am still confused. That's for sure. I didn't plan to go further with him, but here I am, in his palm again. He's nuts for threatening me with his life. But I'm stupid for caring for him. 

Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba ito sa sobrang pag-iisip ko sa sitwasyon ko, pero pansin ko ang pagbagsak ng mood ko sa mga sumunod na araw. Iritable ako at ilag sa mga tao. This feeling is so familiar.

Is it coming? My depressive episode? 

"Hi, Farida!" Reina was already waiting outside my classroom.

Nilagpasan ako ni Maureen at niyakap si Reina. She laughed and hugged Maureen back. I just watched them seriously, not in the mood. 

"You look pretty, as usual, Rei!" Maureen said happily.

"Oh, come on, stop fluttering me!" 

"It's true, though!"

Nagtawanan sila. I glanced at my wristwatch. I told the driver to fetch me. Wala akong balak sumama ulit kina Reina. I want to be alone and rest in my room. Being surrounded by people isn't good for me in my current mental state. 

"Farida, sasama ka na ba? Adam and Louis are looking for you." Lapit sa akin ni Reina at yumakap sa aking braso. 

Tiningnan ko siya at tipid na ngumiti. "No, I can't go with you today, either. I have things to do. I'm sorry," halos walang ganang sabi ko. 

I like Reina and her friends. I'm glad to be part of them, and I'm grateful for their kindness. Masaya ako na iniimbitahan nila ako at hinahanap ngayong wala ako. 

But I don't feel good. Baka kung ano pa ang masabi o magawa ko kung pipilitin ko ang aking sarili. I know what I'm capable of when I'm in this state. I get pissed easily, and I lash out at anyone when I'm overstimulated. Ayaw kong masaktan ang damdamin nila. 

"Aww, what is it ba? Do you need help? Pangatlong araw mo na 'tong tanggi."

"It's personal. I'm really sorry. Gusto kong sumama sa inyo kaso... kailangan talaga, e."

"Really?" biglang singit ni Maureen. "Or maybe Angelus doesn't want you coming with us," her tone sounded so malicious.

Gulat akong napabaling sa kaniya. Ang panunuya sa ngiting suot niya ay nakakapang-init ng ulo. She's looking at me as if she knows something.

What's her problem?

"What? Pinagbabawalan ka ba ni Kuya A, Farida?!" naalerto na ngayon si Reina.