The Dark Ones

Chapter Eight

"I don't want to go back there," I whispered. Seeing Jace and hearing the sound of his voice made it final. I knew that it was far too soon to be confronted with what happened. I took in a deep breath, squeezing my eyes shut tightly to stop tears from falling.

"You don't have to." Noah said softly. I uncovered my face to look at him, and he was kneeling in front of me with a concerned look on his face. I felt my stomach twist with embarrassment at the fact that someone was looking at me with that much pity. I was a basket case, sitting in the middle of the floor with my eyes filled with tears that I didn't want to let fall. He cleared his throat, turning back to the rest of the group who had similar looks on their faces, even Sebastian. "I'll take her to her room."

He turned back to me, holding his arms out as if he were asking for permission. My hands were shaking uncontrollably, and I didn't trust my legs to be able to walk back to my bedroom without giving out on me. I gave a swift nod, and he quickly scooped me up into his arms. I put my hands around his neck to help him at least slightly, not that he needed it with the strength runes he had carved into his skin prior.

Noah walked through the hall, carefully maneuvering me in his arms to open my bedroom door once we got there. He went inside, carefully placing me down onto the bed. He sat down beside me, speaking gently, "you can cry if you want to, Clary." He told me. "It might help."

"I won't cry," I said defiantly.

"Crying doesn't make you any less strong," he told me, his voice soft. "I know that I may not know you very well, but I do know that you're strong. You're upset, and being upset over something traumatizing doesn't negate that."

"I am a shadow hunter," I pointed out, "I kind of have to be strong."

"That's true," he replied, "but even us shadow hunters have our moments. We are part human, and we feel emotions that sometimes can feel like they're overwhelming." I looked into his eyes, noticing that they were a bright golden color. When he blinked, it disappeared, leading me to believe that my eyes were simply deceiving me.

"You sound like you've been through this before," I told him, eager to shift the focus of the conversation away from myself.

"I mean... I get what it feels like to be hurting," he admitted. "I just... I'm not sure what I would have done in your shoes. I don't think that I could be as strong as you are."

"In all fairness, I don't know what I would have done tonight if you weren't there." I replied, and he tilted his head slightly. "I mean, I know that I wouldn't have stayed and talked it out with him, but I felt frozen there. I've never felt so powerless, so at the mercy of emotions that someone else caused me. It was terrifying, you know? And then you pulled me into the portal, thank you by the way, and I wasn't frozen anymore."

"I'm sorry, it was more of a reflex than anything," he told me. "I just didn't want you to get hurt, you know? I saw you looking at him, and you..." He trailed off, shaking his head.

"I get it. Sebastian's orders, I guess," I said, looking down at my hands.

"It isn't just about Sebastian's orders, Clary." At that, I looked up at him. His eyebrows were furrowed together, and he looked as though he was trying to think of the right thing to say, "When I saw you in the street that night, there was just... something about you, I guess. And you coming here and me having the chance to meet you, I just knew that I wanted to protect you."

"Noah?" I asked, confused at the sudden outburst of emotion. He ignored me, continuing.

"And seeing you tonight... I know that I don't want you to ever be put in that position again." He shook his head, looking into my eyes. "I know that we just met, and that it's stupid, but I just want you to be safe... to feel safe. And I hope that I can be someone that you feel safe around."