Its Always Been You *A Carlos Pena Story*

Chapter 5

Char's POV

It's been about a week now since I last talked to Carlos or any other members of Big Time Rush, and truthfully I miss them. I keep thinking about what I told to boys and all I can do is wonder if they told Carlos what I said. I want to call and ask Kendall but I'm terrified of his answer. If he said "yes", then that means I need to go and confront Carlos about my feels but if he said "no", that means I have to go and tell Carlos myself; either way I don't want to deal with this situation. I rather curl in a ball and let it blow over.

I know I shouldn't be doing this, I'm only torturing myself by doing this but I've been stalking Carlos. From watching his keeks, reading his tweets and looking at his instagram posts I know he isn't happy. To someone who doesn't know Carlos the way I do he seemds as if he is okay, but I know he isn't...I know I need to go talk to him but I just, I don't know if I could go and talk to him right now.

I was laying on my couch and looking at the ceiling wondering what it is that I need to do when the phone rings. Not wanting to answer I just let it, but the person kept calling. After it rang for the third time I rushed over to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Char, It's Kendall. Carlos got hit my a car."

It felt as if my whole world just stopped. I choked on my breathe, my spit, just anything I could choke on. Finally being able to speak again I ask,

"Is he okay?"

"We don't know yet. We're all at the hospital."

"Which one?"

"We're at the UCLA Medical Center."

"Okay. I'm on my way."

I grabbed my keys off of the counter as I quickly slipped on my Uggs and ran out the door. I felt as if I couldn't make it to the hospital fast enough. I tried to keep my mind blank because I didn't want to think anything horrible. Finally arriving I ran though the doors and was about to talk to the receptionist until I saw the boys in the waiting room.

Everyone was there. Kendall, James, Logan, Alexa, Javi, Antonio, Andres, and Mr. and Mrs. Pena. I walked over and immediately gave the Pena family a hug. "What happened", I asked in a whisper, "Is he going to be okay?" For a moment no one answered until James spoke up.

"We were leaving the set and Carlos was crossing the parking lot to get to his car when another car came speeding through. Not stopping they hit Carlos and kept driving. NOT ONCE DID THE LOOK BACK. THOSE BASTARDS!", James exclaimed at the end though his tears. Logan walked over to comfort him.

I just stood there shocked as tears flowed from my eyes. I turned and walked towards the window. I put my hand on it and stared out. How could someone do something like that to someone as nice as Carlos. I just don't understand. I though. I felt hands on my back. I looked over my shoulder to see the Pena brothers and Kendall next to me.

"You guys don't need to be right here", I sniffled, "you should be with your parents or Alexa." They all just scoffed. "Alexa maybe Carlos's girlfriend but it is completely clear that you care for him more than she ever will.' I just looked up at Javi and smiled.

"Come on", Kendall said, "let's go back over there."

And that's where we sat for hours. One by one they all started to fall asleep until everyone was left sleeping but Mrs. Pena and I. I was crouched over staring at my hands not saying anything, but my mind was moving a mile a minute. All of my thoughts came out jumbled and incoherent. "You really love him don't you."

My head shot up and I looked around. Logan and James had their heads on Kendall's shoulders while Kendall's head was rolled back. Andres had his head on Antonio who had his head on Javi. Mr. Pena's head was crocked to the side and Alex head was on Mrs. Pena lap. She was the one who asked me the question.

"I know you do Charlotte. I could tell ever since you were kids. I always had a feeling that you two were going to be together one day. Yes, my son was happy with Samantha and I can see he is happy with Alexa but you, you bring him this joy that I've never seen with any other girl he has dated. Just by looking in his eyes, I can see that my son loves you, I just don't think he has realized it yet."

I just started at Mrs. Pena as my tears came back. "I do", I started, " I do. I love him with all fo my heart. I love him so much it hurts but I just can't go and break up their relationship like that. I love Carlos too much to see him hurt...even if I end up hurt in the end." She just nodded her head. "So Kendall and the boys were right. Charlotte you deserve to be happy. I like Alexa but she can find someone else who will make her happy."

"Thank you mama Pena", I whispered. For the next few moments we sat in silence. Both of our head looked up when we saw someone walk through the doors. It was the doctor. Everyone was awake now and we rushed over to him. "Is he okay?", I asked before anyone else could  and from the corner of my eye I saw Alexa shoot a glare at me.

"He is okay now. He had a lot of interal brusing but the most important thing they we cared about was the head trauma. After surgery we have concluded he is going to be okay. However at the moment we can only let family in to see him." the doctor said. We all looked at each other and nodded. Kendall, James, Logan, Alexa and I walked back over to where the seats were and waited for the Pena family to come back out so we can go and see Carlos.