Journal pages

Chapter 11

Zoe's Pov : " hi , your cutting out I can't hear you, I'll call you back later." I pushed my phone off to the side. For the past month most, of our phone calls ended like that. The sound of his voice cutting out.
My trailer door opened " hey we need you on set." My face was covered in bruises and cuts. You could barely tell who I was. I looked miserable , to be honest I felt miserable. Ever since I left to do this movie, i felt lonely and sad. The weather wasn't helping, being gloomy and rainy. I feel so miserable, I want to break down in tears. I don't even know, what's causing me to feel this way. I think it's being away from home. Not seeing familiar faces everyday. Then I think it's also, to do with stress. Buying a house,from out of the country is hard work. I've been sending Maddie, to look at houses and give me input. Then there's the thought of, Is our relationship moving to slow ? I never thought about it tell I left. We've been together for almost four years. We haven't once actually, talked about our future. We alway say " it's to difficult to know." We always use,our careers as an excuse. Saying they are moving to fast, to know where we'll be in five years. I cupped my head in my hands,then sighed into the mirror.

The day had been called,due to heavy rainfall. I walked outside the trailer, someone who worked on set walked up to me. " there are some fans, who have been here all day, do you think you have time to meet them ? " I nodded my head and smiled. I looked out onto the street. There was maybe five people. My manger ran up behind me " what are you doing , you need rest for tomorrow." I pointed at the line of fans. She shook her head " it's not safe you don't have a bodyguard." I shook my head " I don't need a bodyguard to meet a few fans." I walked towards them. I listened to her scuff behind me.
" hi , have you guys Been out here all day?" They all nodded, I was shocked. " really all day in the rain for me." They nodded and laughed. A small group formed around me. We toke pictures and talked. I noticed how everyone was starting to get cold. I said goodbye and gave hugs. My clothing was drenched in water, my hair was dripping on the pavement. I walked back and started to shivers. My manger ran after me " oh my god your drenched, your going to get sick. You can't be sick your almost done filming." She continued to ramble on, about how I shouldn't have gone. A black suv, pulled up beside me. I got in then, apologized for being drenched. " it's okay you made those fans day. You know most people would have left. It surprised everyone you went and met them. We don't see it very often." I smiled " well I use to do the same." He nodded then,turned up the Heater. " you must not be use to the cold. Being Los Angeles is always sunny." I laughed " no I live in England, I'm use to this." The driver looked shocked " really England ? I just assumed Hollywood." I shook my head and laughed. By the time I reached my hotel. I could no longer feel my toes. Filming out of London, is always lonely. I'm use to coming home, and having someone there. I have no one to talk to. I've never lived on my own before. So it was weird, being in a hotel room alone. I found myself sometimes, talking to myself. I always have, had someone to talk to. After a long bath, I Skyped Maddie. It was 5pm in London, and almost midnight here. I watched her face appear on the screen. Her face lit up, along with mine. " hey babe," her voice came across muffled. We then talked about each others day. She filled me in on houses. " hey Zo , I need to tell you something and it can't wait tell you get back." My heart sunk to my feet , " wha-what's wrong , is everything okay." I watched her play with her hair. " I was offered a job , for a magazine company. To be their writer to have my own Column. I know it's not my dream job but its a good magazine. It's a start to where I want to be. I jumped in " Mads that's amazing, I can't believe it I'm so happy for." She cut me off " it's in New York." He expression changed, as she started blankly at me. I felt a lump form in my throat. " di-did you take it," my voice cracked as I talked. She nodded her head " I couldn't just let it pass I'm sorry." I shook my head " no, you've been working hard for this. You deserve it,we can make it work." I felt my eyes heat up , " so when do you leave?" I watched tears roll down her cheeks. " I leave at the beginning of the month." My heart stopped as soon as she spoke. I was trying my best, to only give her a positive response. I couldn't I felt tears roll down my cheeks. " that's so soon." She nodded her head " I tried to tell you earlier but I couldn't. I thought I had more time." I tried my best to smile. " I wouldn't take it if London had better work for me. At first I said no, I couldn't move across the world. Then I went to work and realized my job, is taking me no where. I'm a bloody secretary for a hair place. How is this taking me anywhere ? I want to work for National Geographic and travel the world. My job isn't going to getting me there." I nodded my head " I don't blame you , National Geographic has been your dream job since forever." She smiled " we can make it work , your in New York for work sometimes, and this Skype thing has been working." I smiled and nodded my head. " we've done it once before, we can do it again."
" hey it's late here I think I'm going to call it a night." " I don't blame you , night miss you." Then she hung up. I let out a big sigh " we can make it work." I kept telling myself. We've done it before , we can do it again. I felt all the emotions of Maddie moving kicked in. I fell forward and cried into my pillow. We are going from, being in separable, to being separated.