What have I done to make me so negative?
I can't control the thoughts going through my brain.
Every night I don't want to sleep out of fear.
Fear of being alone with my thoughts.
It scares me at I think of.
Of what I'm capable of.
Yet every morning a smile happens to cross my lips.
Faking a smile is so easy to do.
And no one notices that I'm dying inside.
No one sees the hurt in my eyes.
Or the scars on my wrist.
They all see a happy little girl.
They'd be terrified if they got a peek inside my head.
All the very things I hide behind a smile.
Silently crying in my room to the saddest song I have.
And no one notices a thing.
Everyone thinks I'm happy.
And I never am.
Tears fall down my cheek all the time.
I'm most surprised when my best friend doesn't notice.
Yet, no one ever does.
I could be screaming and sobbing and they'd still think I'm happy.
Laying in bed at night wanting to scream.
Feeling all alone in a room full of people.
Why can't I just be happy?
I only feel pain.
I still wish to die.
And want to cut every night.
No one would even cares anymore.
Suicide is always on my mind.
I just want to say Good Bye sometimes.
But I never can.
Why can't I trust people?
I can never open up to anyone.
I don't even trust my one mother.
And still, I hate everything about myself.
I'm so insecure when someone compliments me I think they're crazy.
I just, I just want to say Good Bye.
But I'm to scared.…...
To scared to leave.
Not because people love me, but because I love them.
