I'm the ugly sister
The horrible daughter
That kid sitting by themselves
I'm not the skinny one
Or the "talented" one
I'm the nerdy one
I get bullied at school and home
Everyday is a battle to just make it through
My life is like broken glass
Shards flying every where
I can't help but notice the pounds I gain
And all the flaws I have
Not to mention the fact I have no style
Every night I write and cry
Write about depressing things
Cry about stupid things
I eat to drown the sorrows
Then I gain weight and feel fat
My neighbors are in college
They party almost every night
I want to scream at them 24/7
My best friend is in the clinic
And she can't leave
For days and days and days
I miss her so much
My blade is in the trash
I want a new one
But I promised to stop
To find a replacement
Not to cut again
Its hard
Life is bullshit
They say if you ignore them
The !monsters and bullies
Then they'll leave
You can't ignore them if they're in your head
Or if they're in your family
It all sucks
Sucks balls
All of it
I'm questioning my:
Religion
Sexuality
Thoughts
Meaning
Life
I can't decide on anything without fighting myself
Fighting my own head for yelling at me
Yelling at me hurtful things
Things like:
Fatty
Stupid
Moran
Retard
Loser
Scaredy cat
DIE
CUT
My monsters say this most often:
CUT
CUT NOW
DO IT NOW
And they yell:
THEY DONT MEAN IT
NO ONE LOVES YOU
YOUR WORTHLESS AND UNLOVED
EVERYONE HATES YOU
I can't think clearly anymore
Which causes my grades to get lower
Lower and lower and lower
I can never sleep
But always have to
Like right now
I want to sleep, but can't
It sucks
