Whenever You Remember (A Niall Horan Fan-Fiction)

Chapter 17

Zayn and I had been in England for about twenty minutes and I was already sick of him.

We were on the train, me glaring out the window with my arms crossed tightly over my chest and Zayn happily playing with my iPad. He seemed oblivious to the tension.

"Why did you have to come?" I muttered darkly.

"Do you know what orphanage Kate and Niall lived in?" Zayn was putting the finishing touches on a virtual cake, his brown eyes focused on the screen and not on me. I wished he would cry like Niall had or shy away from me like all the one time friends I used to have had done. I didn't like the fact that he was pretending nothing was wrong.

"No," I made a face at him since he wasn't looking.

"London Orphanage for Boys and Girls," Zayn replied.

"Oh and that is so hard to figure out," I mumbled with a hint of sarcasm.

"What's Kate's last name?"

"I don't know all right?"

"Banks," Zayn held up the iPad and showed me his cake. It had a peace sign on it. I erased it.

"Come on Annie," he rolled his eyes. "It wasn't that bad."

I just huffed and went back to staring out the window.

"You don't have to do this you know," Zayn laid a hand on my arm. "You don't."

"I want to get Kate back. I liked her." I avoided his gaze. I knew that's not what he meant.

"Annie," his tone carried a slight warning. "You know what I'm talking about."

"I have ADHD," I fished around in my bag, my hand closing around my medication. I hadn't taken it in a while.

"You can't blame your ADHD for pushing people away," he rolled his pretty brown eyes. "You don't have friends because you're afraid to get close to people. Not because you have a short attention span. People aren't going to hurt you, it's okay to like them. You can have friends."

"It's none of your business. And as a matter of fact I do not push people away," I dropped the bottle back in my bag without taking any. "It's my ADHD."

"Jake has ADHD too and, newsflash, so do I. We both have friends."

"It's not the same," I said weakly.

"Yes it is!" Zayn grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him. "Niall loves you and you love Niall. So don't be a jerk to him just because you're scared of actually getting close to someone for once. He's not going to hurt you."

Suddenly I was crying and Zayn had an 'oh shit' look on his face. I could see he hadn't expected that reaction.

"Annie, please don't cry," Zayn bundled me into his arms, running his fingers through my hair soothingly. "What's wrong?"

"Kate," I sobbed. "Kate is what's wrong."

"What do you mean?" Zayn brushed away a few of my tears with his thumb.

"Everything would have been fine if Kate hadn't shown up," I sniffed. "Niall and I were friends and I liked it and I liked him and everything was great. But then Kate came." I buried my head in Zayn's chest.

"Yes Kate came," he patted my back gently. "Is that all?"

"You're right," I hated admitting it. I had barely even admitted it to myself. "I push people away on purpose because I'm afraid they will hurt me. But with Niall I was worried about that. He already loved me for who I was. I didn't have to be scared. When Kate showed up I realized that Niall's memories could potentially return and link him to Kate. The other day when I overheard them in the basement I realized that there was a chance of Niall remembering her and loving her again. You know how bad that would hurt me?"