Winnie the Pooh retold

Rabbits door

Pooh bear drags the body of tigger to rabbits house. Now rabbit was a sensible, yet stubborn... Rabbit, he was full of ideas that never worked and was incredibly prepared for just about everything.

Pooh comes across rabbits hole and sticks his head in the hole and shouts, "IS ANYBODY AT HOME"!

"No". Said a voice

Pooh takes his head out the hole, and having the little brains he had, left tiggers body, and decided to go to Chris' house, after all, he knew everything.

Chris lived at the other side of the forest, and when pooh knocked on his door he said "Chris"?

Chris slams the door open, his eyes are looking sharply at pooh, and he looks angry.

"What is it... You"!

"Hello Chris, I was wondering if you know where rabbit has gone, I asked if he was at home, at his home, and a voice said no, so I was wondering..."

"You stupid cretin"! He shouts. "Yes here's there go ask for him again"! He points and shouts at the same then slams the door.

"He seemed a bit angry".

Pooh the walks all the way back to rabbits and puts his head back into the hole and shouts "IS ANYBODY AT HOKE"?!?!

"Hi, this is rabbit, he is out at the moment". Said rabbit "please leave a voice message after the tone... Beep".

Pooh takes his head out of the hole and says "if I know anything about anything, I know that a phone... What is a phone? Well then somebody earlier... Must of said... Nobody, so sumbodi must bee there".

He puts his head in the hole once again and shouts "I no yoor der rabbit"!

"Oh one come in". Pooh wriggles himself into the house with the body and says "I brought you a present".

"What the heck pooh"! Rabbit shouts!

"I can see that you like it, well to cut a long story short, give me food".

"Tigger! He's my friend"!

"Hungry...."

"Take it all! I don't care! I'll make you anything, I've got bread, do you want honey or condensed milk... Tigger... What happened"?

"Both"! She shouts but to hide that fact he's a scheming, greedy bear he says "but don't bother about the bread".

Rabbit basically gives him the key to the store room and kneels down to Tigger and weeps.

Pooh ate, and ate and are for what seemed like minutes, but what was really weeks, he missed tiggers funeral. When he got out, he was faced by a mad rabbit.

"You killed him pooh"!

"Killed what"?

"Just leave my house..." He said.

Pooh goes through the hole, he managed to get his front paws out, then the top of his nose, then his head and front body, but then...

"I'm stuck"!

"Serves you right"! Shouts rabbit, who then places a honey pot right in front of pooh who can't reach.

"Could you pass me that honey please"?

"No... I'm going to get Chris"!

"What! Not him"! He shouts:

"Serves you right for being a selfish, murdering old bear"!

"I can't help it if I was written like this"! He shouts, rabbit then leaves him,