the first time (they met)

PROLOGUE

It was a sunny day in LA. All the birdies chirping in the trees. Daniel was having breakfast, eating his fifth toast of the morning and trying to clean the jam off his forehead but failing miserably. James was snapchatting, as always.

"Look what a beautiful day" he said to his phone. This kid is always snapchatting irrelevant stuff and talking to his phone, he seriously needed to get out more.

Talking about being social, Jai was sleeping like a sloth, the guy had been out for 15 hours straight, and it's not like he had done much, just a quick wank before bed... Ok, maybe two. OKAY THEY WERE FIVE BUT DON'T JUDGE.

Luke was nowhere to be seen, he supposedly had gone to take some pictures of a squirrel yesterday afternoon, oh squirrel, and hadn't come back, but of course this wasn't a surprise, last week he went to the park because he wanted to get the perfect picture of a cockroach and didn't come back until like three days later with a dick shaved on his head and a strange kind of allergy in the place where the sun doesn't shine. Don't ask. And lets not forget about that time he disappeared for two months and came back with a weird long ass bear, eating a two day old unrefrigerated pizza. He looked strangely similar to Shia Labeouf.

James was right, what a beautiful day. The things he could do on a day like this, maybe today he was going to finally get out of his room and show off his brand new Hannah Montana swimming trunks.Or maybe not, the world wasn't ready for that, yet. Everything was perfectly peaceful, Daniel had finally gotten the jam out of his forehead with the help of his sock, he would have used his shirt but of course he wasn't wearing one. Luke was finally back, his pants were missing as well as his left sock and shoe, but he was back, at least his head seemed ok and... Wait is that a bite mark on his cheek? What the...

"FUCK" Luke screamed "I DIDN'T GET THE FUCKING PICTURE" Daniel was staring at him, full cockatoo face on and trying to understand what the heck was going on.

"Dude what happened?" he asked. "I HAD TO FIGHT WITH THAT FUCKING SQUIRREL TO GET A FUCKING PHOTO BUT DIDN'T BECAUSE THE LITTLE CUNT THREW A FUCKING PEBBLE AT MY FUCKING CAMERA AND NOW MY LENS IS FUCKING FUCKED UP. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUUUUUUUUUCK." he screamed again with a really gay voice.

"What the fuck is happening here?" Jai said, all wet with a towel on his head and completely naked. He was having his three hour bubble bath he takes every single morning with his vanilla scented candles and his avocado face mask, very masculine of course, and this fucking dumb cunts were interrupting his daily beauty routine!! He was furious, no scratch that. He was raging. He was about to hit Luke in the face when a really loud sound coming from the kitchen scared the shit out of them. The sound also startled James, who was still fantasising about his Hannah Montana inspired swimsuit and of course talking to himself, or as he likes to call it, communicating with his fans on snapchat.

The four boys ran out of the house thinking some kind of gay like UFO or something had fallen outside their house, but of course, there was no UFO. Which takes us, again, to the "They need to get out more and stop playing stupid video games".

But going back, they all went outside, expecting the unexpected. Sadly they just found Beau and his car, crashed against one of the poles in the basketball court.

They all had different reactions, Luke, for example, rolled his eyes and kept on bitching about that cunt of a squirrel when he saw that Beau was still breathing. Daniel screamed a little too high pitched for a 20 year old guy about how

"The car is fucking brand new and it costed half of a fucking fortune you stupid cunt" His words, not mine.

Jai was seriously pissed off right now, between the new hole in the kitchen's wall and the water of his bath getting colder by the second he was about to explode.

"DID YOU JUST CRASHED THE FUCKING KITCHEN?" he screamed "WHY WOULD YOU DO IT YOU DUMB CUNT? HUH?" Apparently he really needed his bath time that day. And a chill pill, ASAP.

"I didn't want to arrive late for the filming guys chill, I can fix that wall" Beau said with his particular tone of voice.

"But Beau.... We won't start recording for at least three more hours" Daniel said scrunching his little nose at the dorito with human looks.

"Great, you have three hours to fix that fucking wall. Now, am I allowed now to finish my beauty routi.. fuck i mean, bath?" he threw his arms over his head "God, fucking idiot cunt" he whispered the last part as he left for the bathroom with the towel still in his head.

Meanwhile, James was still snapchatting the whole mess the dorito guy caused. "LOL BEAU JUST CRASHED THE WALL" he typed down in the video.

"Staap, James, staap" Beau said with a lady like voice. James didn't stop, his snapchat was definitely more important than that crimson chin dude.

"Dude you better fix this fucking mess before we have fucking go, now if you fucking excuse me, im gonna fucking go to fix my fucking camera" and with that Luke stormed off towards his room, still coursin that squirrel.

Three hours later, Ronnie El Diamond arrived.

"Hey guys what's.. What happened to the wall and why is Beau covered in brick dust and... Whatever" He wasn't surprised at all, nothing surprised him this days. That house is always a mess. "Anyway, we're filming the movie today, remember?".

"Hehe" Beau laughed, "There is the answer to the wall thingy lolz". Ronnie looked at Beau with his resting bitch face "Hehe, no" he said. "Anyway" Ronnie started again "I need you guys to try to remember the day you met for the first scene, ok?"

Suddenly, a wild Luke with a red silk robe that probably belonged to his mother appeared.

"Evening, Ronnie" he said sipping iced tea from his minion themed cup. He's such a hipster little girl.

"That's very british of you Luke" Ronnie said "BUT I NEED TO EXPLAIN THE FIRST SCENE SO FUCKING STOP INTERRUPTING ME YOU FUCKING RATS" he screamed and went back to his resting bitch face very quick.

"And you call me short tempered" Luke said, still sipping his tea and rolling his eyes.

"But we are australians" Beau looked at Ronnie as if he grew a third head.

"ARE YOU GOING TO SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE?" Ronnie yelled and went back to his resting bitch face once again.

"Sorry, geez, you're so aggressive" Beau was butthurt now, no one was appreciating his work with that ugly wall. Of course it was his fault, but oh well.

"Okay, as I was saying, we need to film today so I expect you to do what you do best"

Everybody went silent.

"What you guys have to do is JAMES CAN YOU LEAVE YOUR GODDAMNED PHONE ALONE FOR A FUCKING SECOND". James screamed and let his phone on the counter, after sending that to his snapchat story of course.

"Thank you, now, what I need you guys to do is to sit your pretty little asses on that chair and tell me how do you remember the first time you met, is that simple enough for you? Great. Now who wants to start?"