It was a sunny day in Melbourne when I met these cunts, well two of them are family, but the other two were strangers back then. Luke, Jai and I were riding our bikes down the streets when accidentally I ran over this little kid. I swear I got distracted for a second and then all of a sudden he was under my bike and I was flying across the street . He was a little bit chubby so he didn't feel the whole pain. But I wasn't . And I felt it. It hurted. Like a little.fucking.bitch.
"Ouch, that hurt!" I said.
I got up from the floor, all stained with blood from my chin, being scratched against the pavement. Thanks god I look like a dorito, cause if didn't I would have lost some teeths. I looked at Daniel and couldn't help laughing because he looked so scared, like he was about to cry, and he wasn't even bleeding, he just made a big drama out of the situation. I swear I barely pushed him with my bike and he acted like he had been run over by a truck. But when I calmed down I realized Luke and Jai had never stopped and that they were fucking gone. I looked at my shirt, then at my bike and then at the little fat guy in front of me, and I started crying. A few moments went by when I finally heard it. The dumb cunt was laughing at me because I was crying over my broken fucking face and my brand new pink, I mean red macho bike.
Ten minutes later the chubby little kid finally stopped laughing. Yes, ten minutes. What a cunt. "Are you ok mate?" He told me. I said yes but what I really meant was 'Of course I'm not, you stupid cunt' but I was way too nice back then. Momma raised me right, not like those cunts of brothers that didn't even worry about their big brother getting hurt and getting lost, they were always jealous of me, she obviously loves me more. Anyway, so this kid asked me my name and then told me if I wanted to go over his house so I can use his phone and call someone to pick me up, cause obviously Jai and Luke never showed. Fucking cunts.
So we went to Skip's place that thank God was just two blocks away. I was in pain and I think I was limping a little, but of course I tried my best not to show it because I was really tough and manly as I still am today.
"Fuck I forgot the keys" Daniel said, and knocked at the door.
"Hi baby" His mother said and kissed his cute little nose. "James came to see you, we're in the kitchen baking chocolate cookies, your favorites" Then she looked at me and said "Oh, who's your friend honey?"
"This is Beau mom, he was riding his bike a few blocks away when he lost control and crashed against a tree. He was crying and bleeding so I helped him". Once again, what a fucking cunt.
"Oh baby, you're such a good boy" His mom said. "Come in kids".
Then, this also chubby kid came to me and said "Hey I'm James, what's your name? Oh, are you ok? What happened? You're bleeding, Jesus. What's your name by the way? Do you want to bake some cookies with us? They are chocolate flavored, you aren't allergic to chocolate are you? Because that would be terrible... " that James kid kept on talking but i missed the rest of his rant because just a couple second later I passed out. When I woke up, my mom was there, and Luke and Jai were eating cookies and chatting with the other two kids. And yea, that's basically how we become friends.
"And that's how us boys met, it's a really beautiful story if I say so myself, it's like life crashed us together huh, Skip? You get it? Crashed? Cause I ran you over. God I'm hilarious" Beau joked while laughing. All the other boys stared at him like every time he cracked one of his shitty puns.
"Oh fuck you" he said when he realized no one was laughing with him.
"Its a nice story and all Beau, but that is not how I remember it" Daniel said.
YOU ARE READING
the first time (they met)
HumorJai, Luke, Daniel, Beau and James are filming their new movie "Janoskians: Untold and Untrue" and they need to remember how they met.