Radicle (Terminal trilogy #2, can stand alone)

21: Moments later

Michael treated me gently. He knew me better than I did, of course, and he suggested I needed some time to catch up with Heaven before being fully reintroduced to it. Time to detox, he called it. I told him I was unfamiliar with the terminology, and he smiled cleanly.

I took care of the girl children, feeding and watering them throughout the day, doing my best to keep them quiet. I stayed with the Brothers, most unworthily, and slept on the couch. I did not see any other angels, sans the occasional visit from Cassiel or Victory.

The Brothers did not speak to me often, besides Michael of course. The small children grew, not at all noticeably, but in the simple way that Hih could no longer be called 'three and a half months old'. I was trying to purify my mind of numbers. But I had a sort of sense about me- it had been three months. I was maybe a bit restless, but not uncomfortable.

The body of the demon had been left to rot on the ground in the forest for two weeks, where it was out of my mind and sight. There, according to Uriel, it had become infested with maggots and flies. The body was then dragged out for display to the other angels, who understood the message the body brought. Later, it was disposed of in a stagnant pond.

This did not concern me, because I was really quite happy. I wasn't sure Michael understood that about me, which was an impossible thought in itself. But it was my only worry: Michael seemed to think me unhappy and untrustworthy. I could care for the children, sure, but I wasn't allowed outside. And while I agreed I needed time to cleanse myself from Hell, surely the best way to go about that was to live in Heaven?

When he finally did decide to let me go- a fact he hinted at over the course of one long period of daylight- I still had the sense he wanted to test me. Fine. But I didn't need testing.

"Bathe with us." Michael said.

"What of the children?"

"I will pick another man for the job. He will not live with us as you have, instead maybe in a nearby house. I don't like to see the children when they're still all young and uninteresting."

The bathhouse, which I kept having to remind myself was not a flooded basement with a bit of plumbing, seemed utterly full. I knew the men in it as well, which made me suspect this had been orchestrated by Michael as some sort of event for me. A party? I was not sure. I didn't deserve a party.

People nodded at me as I passed towards the back of the bathhouse, but of course they had little time for it- they all had to bow to the Brothers first, followed by a polite aversion of the eyes for the women.

Even the very back felt cramped. All the Brothers were freely lounging, while Percial sat hunched in a corner and taking up as little room as possible. Cassiel sat very close to Victory, as she was inclined to do, while Humility was forced to rub shoulders with Raphael and I. Chilial was the only one who wasn't tightly packed, and honestly the only one looking at all relaxed.

By the time everyone settled, two more men came to join us. Enae and Dohn, old once-knowns. It would have been uncomfortable to hug them naked with so little room to navigate, so we just nodded at each other. They greeted the Brothers formally and squeezed in next to me.

"It is good to see your return." Dohn said. He was more of an old friend.

"Agreed." Enae said. He wasn't much of a friend- he was a personal guard of Michael's. I wasn't sure why he had been invited alongside Dohn to greet me tonight- I suppose it was because we had lived together for a few brief moments.

"I am most pleased to be here tonight, and to have the privilege of greeting you." Dohn was visibly nervous, and his constant fidgeting hurt my shoulders. He was speaking in the highest sort of dialect that he could, enunciating everything and talking pleasant, but it was quite clear how unused to the vernacular he was.

"It is wonderful to be back." I said. Michael gave a quiet sort of sound of approval, and everyone seemed to let out a sigh of relief. Light conversation struck up, and I ceased to be the center of attention. Michael, though leaning against Cassiel and talking idly, still had his eyes fixed on me. But I guess I passed his test good enough.

"You're still alive." I said to Dohn after a moment's pause.

"It's a tough feat to manage." Dohn grinned. "But please- isn't the biggest feat that you're still alive?"

I frowned. "I don't wish to speak of my time."

"Please- Hell! Absolutely incredible. I only just heard about it. You've got to tell me what it was like- it's underground, right? Like a series of caverns?"

"I don't want to talk about it. And I don't think I'm supposed to."

"Okay, okay, but I've drawn a few sketches of what I've imagined Hell to be like, and all you've got to tell me is if my guesses are hot or cold. Oh! Speaking of that- was Hell literally and constantly on fire? Somehow that's the first thing I think of when I imagine Hell. Fire. Wonder why?"

I knew why. But wait- no I didn't. I wasn't allowed to keep that sort of knowledge any more.

Enae was listening to us in quiet, but I could tell he was on edge. Not speaking was no doubt leaving a bad impression of him on our superiors, but he had no idea what to say.

"You were an ambassador." He said at last. "How did the ambassador-ing go?"

Nearby, Chilial, Humility and Raphael went quiet and watched me with anticipation. The quiet spread rapidly throughout our corner of the bathhouse.

"I was wondering about that, but I thought it'd be..." Gabriel nervously looked at Michael, "Unwise to ask."

"It went fine!" Michael declared loudly, before I could speak. "Day after he arrived, I got a message. They want to meet with us again, have another peace meeting. Again. They're waiting for my reply."

"You haven't sent one out? Michael- you need to keep us up to date about matters like these." Gabriel said. I sensed there was a real sharpness to his voice. There often seemed to be when it came to dealing with his older brother.

"I'll do it when I feel like it. Which is not now. Who said I ever wanted peace? We don't need this war to end."

"You know." Gabriel said, and he left it at that. It seemed to be a matter that belonged exclusively to the Brothers.

"Please, keep your mouth clean when speaking near our more information-sensitive friends." Michael said, gesturing to Dohn, Enae and I. "Especially poor Nichael. He got evicted from Hell, you know."

"Evicted?" Cassiel asked.

I was nervous. "I punched Kell Campbell in the face and he recognized me. I mean, I actually returned to Hell after being evicted, and that's when I did the whole... uh..." I realized I probably shouldn't mention the children in front of Dohn and Enae. "...Thing, and then I killed a couple demons and left for good."

"Sounds exciting." Dohn said, trying to keep a positive smile.

"Shame you didn't kill Kell though. Might've saved a lot of lives." Humility said.

"He doesn't fight anymore. He's retired. And a pleasant man, once you look past his history of blood." Victory said.

"I'll bet he still kills on the side though! Just to satisfy his bloodlust." Chilial declared. "You can't just retire from violence."

"Isn't that just what peace is though?" Victory asked. "Retirement from the act of shedding blood? I don't know. You'd think it'd be possible. I, for one, haven't killed anyone and I seem to be getting along fine."

"What would peace even be like?" Raphael mused. "What would we do with ourselves?"

"Live it out?" Gabriel sighed heavily and gave an exaggerated shrug.

"Sounds sort of... boring." Uriel said.

They all were looking at Michael, who had stretched out until his ears were underwater. His eyes were closed. I watched the Brothers faces. Unhappy? Perhaps. I was only really paying attention to Michael.