Radicle (Terminal trilogy #2, can stand alone)

26: A heavy subject

I came to Hell in the customary way, through the Hellmouth's portal and out of the large pit. I took an elevator up to the city, occasionally twitching my fingers but otherwise fairly calm.

Only now, as I approached the city of demons again, did I let myself think of them. I struggled to keep myself level-headed, to regulate my thoughts and keep them in the same sort of clear and opinion-less fog I had long lived in.

But then I remembered her. Tegan.

It had been six months.

I stopped thinking of demons. There'd be a time, later, when the grief was all gone. If I tried now, I'd just be frozen in mourning.

I went out into the blue hallways feeling really a lot less like myself than I ever had been, but quite happy about this fact. I was going to let myself relax this time. No more worries about anything beyond me. I needed this time off.

I didn't get through security without a few hard looks, but no one in Hell had ever seemed to mind much wherever people wandered. As long as you were polite about it.

I took to the streets, only then realizing I was still dressed like an angel. But then again, it's not like the demons really knew what an angel's casual clothes were. They probably just thought I was weird, and I could take that.

Then, of course, as things started to seem ever so positive and ready for greatness, some demon threw himself at my feet and bowed down.

"Nichael! You're back!" He said, much to loudly. A good number of people heard him, in fact

"No." I stepped over him, but he grabbed my ankle and I fell to the ground.

"Oh! I'm so sorry..." He said, and I had the impression he was trying to pick me up from my back. I got up on my own and stared him in the eyes.

"No." I repeated. I grabbed him roughly, but it felt like I didn't even have to bother- he was like paper in my hands. I took his long coat and hurried to button it up. Then I took a hat off a bystander and ran as erratically as I could while trying to fix it onto my head.

At least I was in shape.

Rather unfortunately, the only truly safe place for me to hide while being chased by a couple fanatics was their home: the church I had created. There I could control them. Out in the streets, the other demons would take far too much notice of me.

Not like I wasn't causing enough of a commotion right now. If the streets hadn't been so crowded, the couple brave people following me would have a far greater chance of seeing where I was going. I ducked off the narrow street I was on and onto an even busier one. There I jammed my way to the wall of a building and leaned casually, trying to blend.

How did these fanatics even know what I looked like? I hadn't allowed myself to be photographed when I had been staying here. And they all seemed so certain it was me, like there weren't a million other brown haired and brown eyed men around to harass. I didn't really have any distinguishing features either. If I wasn't an angel, I'd just be plain.

I pulled the hat down a bit to obscure more of my face and stared at the ground as I walked. Every so often I glance up to confirm my location, but I did my best to not meet anyone's gaze. I was uncomfortable with the idea of being more than I ought to have been. And they were treating me like a god.

But I found my way to the church regardless, and when I walked through the door, I didn't dare look up at anything until I had felt my way to the back room.

Someone had followed me.

"You're not- Oh. Nic-? Nichael!" I looked up at the speaker- it was Lilith. Her cheeks were flushed, and her hair was frizzy and tangled beyond belief. Her eyes were shallow and sunken.

"Lilith."

"You're back."

"Yeah."

"Where have you been?"

"Heaven, mostly." I took off my hat and jacket and dropped them on the floor. I was going to have to get comfortable with people looking up to me before I could figure out how to stop them.

"Are you fallen then?"

"No." I spread my wing out for her to appreciate, and she trailed the feathers absentmindedly. "I'm just back. Not sure what I'm doing here. But I think you'll have some answers for me?"

"I will?"

"You always do."