ADDICT: Thoughts of a Guilty Man

Interesting, Right?

People... grow. We change as we grow. We adapt to our surroundings, our relationships evolve, and our thinking changes, too.

I'm not saying that we turn into someone else, goodness no. We just... stop acting like kids and think like adults. 

Well, some of us do.

Humans are interesting.
The human is an intriguing and complex being. We have a lot to learn and a lot to teach. We learn from each other, with each other.
We learn how to grow with each other. We choose who we want to spend time with. And when the time is right, we love.

But sometimes, we make mistakes.

It's natural. We learn from mistakes. It doesn't have to be your mistake to learn from it; we can learn from others' mistakes.  It happens, move on. Life goes on.

But it's not really that easy, is it?

In a world where being human forces you into a society, as is the natural order, it's not always that easy to move on. We all want to fit in. We don't want to be left out of anything. We long to be part of the society. The "in" crowd. At school. At work. With friends. Even at home.

Yes.

A family is a society.

Most people don't realize that, but it's true. A family is one of the best examples of society. You have the head of the house, usually the father, then the enforcers, which would be the mother. Then you have siblings, the older ones bearing the heavier load whereas the younger ones seem to be enjoying their lives. Enter the sibling rivalry.
If you have good parents, they'll love you all the same. Some parents have favourites, picking one child over the others. Loving them more. Giving them presents, while being salty to the rest of the siblings. On a societal scale, that would be called nepotism.
So then, that would birth hatred among the children. So many mental issues triggered right there. Some parents are equal to their children, in that they hate them. Again, abuse of power. It could be the parents' fault. It could be the children's fault.

But it wouldn't really matter. Because as humans, we adapt to anything and everything. We grow. We get past some things in our lives. Theoretically, that ability is called homeostasis. Yes, it's more than just biology. Homeostasis is what allows us to move on with our lives.

However, realistically speaking, there are just some things you can't get past. There are some situations you can't power your way through. Some relationships you can't keep going. It crosses the line, and that's not okay. Of course, there are some ties that fade away, like that one kid you used to play with that moved to a different city. Some ties you have to sever, like that friend in middle school that betrayed you.
But you see, that's only because they wanted to be part of a different crowd. They wanted to fit into a different group. They were part of a new society, with new values.  Some would call it collectivism. Others would call it betrayal. They valued the dynamics of a group rather than themselves.

That's why they left.

And that's okay.

What hurts the most is when you get hurt but the person stays. You have to forgive them, because you love them. Then they hurt you again. Then you forgive. Again. You don't realize it, but you've been forgiving them for so long that it feels natural to get hurt. You start expecting it from them because that's how it has always been.

It can be your lover. It always starts small: maybe they forgot to pick up their laundry. They didn't clean up after themselves. They start joking about sensitive stuff. Before you know it, they're joking about your trauma. You accept it because you love them, and maybe that's one way of getting over your trauma. Maybe.