Stand Up and Remember (One Direction Fan-Fic)

Chapter 28

A/N
Hope you like the chapter.

~Megs xx
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                                                               Chapter 28 ~Bella

 I looked at myself in the mirror and shrugged, my brown hair swirling around my face slightly as my head moved. I had no make-up on, I didn't really need it to make myself 'pretty' and I had learnt even long ago before I had lost my memory I was 'naturally' beautiful and I had to accept myself or I never would. If I accepted myself, others could.

I was wearing dark red skinny jeans that allowed me to squat in them, a cream top that hung off me loosely and had baggy sleeves and black ballet flats. Simple but not overly simplistic. 

I had everything in a small bag which I had slung over my right shoulder. I felt a strong sense of déjà vu but I shrugged it off as I didn't want anything to be questioned over a simple yet hopefully midly romantic dinner. I couldn't wipe the sly smile on my face. I had a perfect boy and I couldn't believe how lucky I was. I was falling hard and he was too. We weren't overly serious and we knew that we didn't want to  anything between us.

I cleared my mind of the frustration from the pool incident that had happened, and how he had 'forgotten' and I had forgiven him. Moved on. Full stop.

Niall knocked softly on my door.
"Bella, you ready?" he asked and I nodded before laughing at myself and replying with a 'yes'. I opened the door to find Niall standing there in some blue jeans, toms, a white t-shirt and a suit jacket, but a 'cheaper version' as he liked to call it.

He looked nice. His hair was in its usual quiff and nothing was out of place, and his blue eyes matched his cheeky grin. Perfect.
I had thought it would have never worked. Weird against perfect, but it did. Usually things like this didn't last.

"Let's go shall we?" Niall asked, holidng out his arm and I linked mine in his and we made our way down the stairs without interruption and out of the complex and into the car that he had organized prior to breakfast. Bless him.

"The Boulevard please," Niall smiled at the driver as we climbed in and I felt a strong sense of déjà vu again but I ignored it. It was the same feeling of dread, but happiness as I had felt before Niall had pushed me in. I was having the same vision, but subconsciously.

"Is it nice?" I asked Niall as we took off onto the streets and soon enough onto a small main road.
"It's really nice and its away from the commotion, near the river and just beautiful, trust me," he smiled and I nodded. I trusted him with my life.

We arrived shortly after and to say it was beautiful would be short of an understatement. It was gorgeous, but cute.
Fairy lights were strung up outside a small little café type restaurant on the edge of the river. The streets surrounding it were small stores with lots of trees and grass, and picnic places.
I smiled. It was pretty. 

We walked in, in an awestruck silence, and the waitress gave us our seats, and she looked annoyingly familiar. She had given me a small nod with wide eyes as we had walked in, but I think it was realizing who we were. And the café wasn't full of life. It wasn't empty, and it didn't need to be. It had a nice homely feel to it, and it wasn't quiet or bustling, somewhere in between.

The waitress, Isabel, gave us the menus and I chose straight away.

"Hm, I'll get the hot chocolate and the club sandwich with chips," I said, feeling begrudgingly unhealthy yet hungry at the same time. Damn you stomach!
Niall took a little while, and then he spoke up.
"I'll have the Large steak and bacon pie with salad and chips and a coke please," Niall said to the waitress and she smiled at us before asking if we wanted anything else. I shook my head and Niall did the same and she walked away, taking our menus away.

"I love it here, the atmosphere is awesome," I said to Niall and he chuckled.
"I haven't been here before but I'm glad we both like it, maybe we should come more often," he grinned and I smiled back.

"We should," I agreed I said.

After some small talk, our drinks and food came. We ate and talked, about what we thought of the weather, sport, music and other things.

And then we finished. We chatted for a little while more and then I asked a question.
"Niall, doesn't it annoy you that I don't remember much of how I met you, our first conversations, what happened before the accident? I mean, how much does it annoy you that I don't remember those moments? Don't think about how hard it is for me, we both know the answer, but doesn't it annoy you?" I asked, seeking for him to finally answer the question we both knew was coming, but I didn't.
I wanted to ask him if I had missed anything, and what was I missing? I couldn't figure it out without him and frankly I had been thinking about it. 

Yes he had helped me remember some things, maybe unintentionally, and I knew him and Harry were talking about things, but a little piece of my mind was always thinking, why?

"Yes it does, but that isn't your fault, I could have stopped it, we should have done a full check, but we let it happen, and that's that. I am trying to help you rememeber but I don't want it all at once, just bit by bit," he smiled and I tried to smile with the same smile and intention, but it wasn't very impressive, and yet he bought it.


"Well thanks for bringing me here," I smiled, thanking him anyway, and I felt my heart flutter. Oh gawd.

"No problem," he replied with a toothy grin before he payed the bill and we organized ourselves to leave.

I went to thank the waitress as Niall claimed he needed the restroom. I said I would meet him outside.

"Thanks for the drinks," I smiled and she smiled back.
"It's been a while since I've seen you Bel," she said and I took a step back. What?
"How do we know each other?" I asked and she looked confused.
"You used to come here all the time," she said slowly and I frowned. Why had Niall not told me?
"You were a regular," she added and again, I tried to remember.
"Sorry, I had an accident and I don't remember the last two years, I've tried piecing it all together but I don't have much yet," I said and it was time for her eyes to widen in surprise before she looked sad.
"Oh, well if you need me here is my number, and don't be afraid to talk about what happened," she gave me a wry smile before walking off and I shook my head, almost forgetting what had happened.

I had been a regular. Since when?
I walked out, the little bell jingling as I did so and I looked at the small street and the cars going by every now and again and time slowed down. I smelt rain, like a drizzle, a faint breeze was blowing across my cheek, and Christie was standing in front of me.

"Christie!" I giggled as I took a sip of my hot chocolate that I had gotten from our place only moments ago. Christie was dancing in front of me on the pavement, singing at the top of her voice.
"Bella," she mocked me before we hugged, sharing our own moment before it began drizzling. The bus was just across the large park across the street and we both shared a look before shrugging. No need to run.

"Bella, you know you are my best friend forever right? These boys do not get between us," she held up her pinkie and I shook it with mine with a grin and we shared a long hug again. I breathed in her perfume, lavender. Bitter sweet.

"I know," I said softly. "You will always be my best friend," I said and she pulled back with a grin. I grinned with a knowing look on my face as I sculled my remaining chocolate and put the cup into the bin.

"Race?" Christie asked, her long blonde hair bobbing up and down as she became excited, her head jiggling with anticipation.
"You are on," I said and she began counting.
"One," she said and I prepared myself with my bag but she had started.
"Christie!" I groaned and she stopped on the other side of the street.
"Okay we'll start again!" She said, her eyes on mine as she walked across the road.


Little did she know that a car had just begun speeding down the road, the police hot on their trail.

She froze on the road like a deer caught in headlights and I screamed and her eyes met mine as she tried to get out of the way but it was no use. I felt tears stream down my face as I screamed and cried and dialled for the emergency department, but I couldn't answer their questions. My legs fumbled over to where my friend had been thrown aside like a doll. The car had hit her with full force and she lay lifeless and crumpled like a piece of fragile paper on the side of the road. The police had stopped and somehow there was an ambulance.

Everything went quickly after that. I tried getting her to respond but she just looked me in the eyes and whispered her final words, her tears fresh on her almost pale cheeks, her hair splayed across the cement.

"I love you Bella, and I will always be in your heart, don't forget me," she said before her eyes went dull and I let out another howl before someone grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. It was Isabel. We had grown to be friends. The police comforted me as I crouched over my lifeless friend.

Christie was always so full of life, bouncy, bubbly, energetic and she was always there from me. Thanks to some idiot, she had been torn early from life. I was lost, completely and utterly alone.
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I felt tears streaking down my face as I realized I was now crouching exactly where Christie had passed away in my arms, her life crumpling before my eyes. No. No.

I had not forgotten this. Christie was alive. She had to be.
But the more I told myself this, the more I knew I was just trying to pretend.
I remembered every little detail after. I had gone home and stayed immobile, not speaking, staring at myself, red and puffy, crying silently as I remembered the crunch of her body and the way the car had tossed her aside like she was nothing. But she was everything. We had grown up together, fallen for boys together, gone to a prom together.

I cried silently on the side of the road. I remembered how Harry had taken me under his wing and I had easily agreed to go with them, I had left my UL application untouched, but still available but I knew I wasn't going to do it without her. I had remained in the shadow of my brother for a year, and then Niall got under my skin. I had fallen for him. I had stopped writing music and singing, and the boys never knew about Christie, they didn't know why I hadn't sung, or why I didn't like playing music because it reminded me of her. I had stayed still while Harry had sung without me, I had stayed in bed and cried for days on end.

Everything came back to me and I was overwhelmed. Why had no one told me?

Then I understood. Harry had told the boys not to tell me. He must have thought it would be too much.

I felt anger and sorrow. I felt like screaming but I controlled it. I stood up and looked back at The Boulevard and almost screamed but I didn't. I crossed the road, not caring if I got hit by a car and I ran, sprinted across the park, through the trees and over to the bus station. I knew a bus that would take me back to Cheshire. I would catch a bus, a train, and then another bus. I had money and by some miracle I had my house key. I didn't need anything. I was comfortable, and sad. Anger fuelled my contrrol. I remained silent as I caught a bus and turned off my phone as Niall texted me once. Once was more than enough.

I held the tears back. I felt inclined to pour my eyes out there and then, but that would lead to more people asking questions and the boys would find me. Outside it started raining. I remembered how it had rained as Harry had pulled me away from Christie and I screamed in protest but fell limp and weak in his arms. I had been soaked and that one time he had to put me in the shower, turn the hot water on and wash me down. I resorted to my bedroom for 5 week.

I stared hard at the glass at the front of the bus as the rain came pouring down, just like it had before. I shivered and made a mental note to buy a hoodie at the train station. 10 minutes later I was still on the bus when I saw the boys standing underneath an umbrella at the train station, waiting to board the bus, since it was one of the loop ones.

I took a deep breath and stood up along with the many other passengers, but someone grabbed my sleeve as I stood up and I freaked out, letting out a quiet shriek before I sighed in relief. It was Austin. Someone I could rely on to tell the truth. He looked concerned.

"Don't ask," I managed.
"But don't let the boys see me," I begged and he smiled wryly.
"I can do that, here, umbrella," he said, taking out a large black umbrella. We walked towards the exit as the bus came to a halt and I took a deep breath, holding back the tears I knew were soon to come.

Left. Right. Left. Right.
I focussed on the rhythym of my feet as I stayed to the far side of Austin, well underneath the umbrella and hidden from the boys' point of view. We didn't waste anytime running towards that large station and into the warmth, still a little wet.

I sighed shakily and Austin pulled me over to a bench, hidden by a small bush inside the station.
"Okay, I don't need to know what happened just yet, just tell me what you need, and I'll get it." He said and I couldn't have been more grateful towards someone in my whole life. He just got it.

"Clothes, food, pillow, duffel bag, hair dye, make-up, hoodie, book and tissues," I replied in monotone and he nodded.
"Well there is a store over there that we can get most of that and I'm sure a quick shopping trip in the mall, meaning a clothes store couldn't hurt. Wash-out hair dye?" He asked as we stood up and I felt ready to fall over but I steadied myself quickly. We needed to get this done before the boys found me.

"I have money, lots," I said and he nodded.
"I won't argue with you, I was headed to Holmes Chapel myself, I have a cousin there," he said and for the first time I noticed the duffel bag he had been lugging around and I managed a very tight thin smile. Holmes Chapel, sounded like Home.
"Then at least we can go together," I sighed and I felt myself shaking, ready to cry. But I held it back. No, I was not going to let something the boys said let me cry in public. I could do this.

"Okay, let's do this quickly. Wash-out hair dye in red, purple, black, blonde, you name-it. And then blanket, some clothes just in case, and et cetera," I said and Austin nodded before linking his hand in mine and for once I didn't shry back, I let his warm, reassuring hand guide mine, and I followed with little protest. No spark or lightning, just warmth and comfort. Care.

We didn't receive any looks and frankly I didn't care about what people thought of us. We needed to buy these things, our tickets and get out of there. I was just focussed on placing one foot in front of the other without swaying, without stumbling without complaint. I could do this by myself, or even with a friend beside me to help out.

But what sort of friend, let alone boyfriend keeps a secret like that away from you for months and months? What sort of brother let alone a twin keeps that from you? The whole band kept it from me, although I figured that Harry hadn't mentioned it very often but as soon as he had realized, he had asked not to tell. Maybe he thought I would be better off, but I knew he was far from wrong. He was insane to think that I couldn't handle the truth. 

Yes. Sometimes the truth hurts, but when it is kept from you? That's worse.

And I still couldn't believe it, as I dragged myself along with Austin, quickly finishing our shopping and buying our tickets as I shouldered my new duffel bag, that Niall had lied to me, or kept the truth from me. Him of all people. My heart was starting to creak and shatter into pieces, and I knew I was far from falling for niall, I was falling apart because of him and everything that had happened. I looked down at the promise necklace and felt a wave a sadness pass through me. I unclipped it with care and then opened my wallet and put it in before replacing it in my bag. 

By the time we had sat down on the benches waiting for our train, I had changed into tracksuit pants and a hoodie and everything was in the navy blue duffel bag at my feet. I was curled up against Austin, keeping myself from crying. We had managed to get private seats due to who I was.

When the train came, a wave of sadness and sorrow so large hit me all at once and we hopped on and sat down in our private section and Austin gave me one look and I poured out my soul onto his shoudler. For once I let it all flow. I had remembered, I knew who I was and who I was going to be before I let something tear my heart apart. My brother had managed to not even try and convince me to pursue what I wanted, instead he was more interested in getting me to come with him, so I was there for him.

I didn't laugh out loud but I felt so stupid as the tears flowed freely as the train remained still. I paused briefly before I lifted up my head and looked out the window and a famliar brown head caught my sight. Staring directly at me was Louis Tomlinson. It was full of unspoken words and understanding. The look in is eyes as he met mine was apologetic and I nodded once before I mouthed, "Don't tell."

He nodded and I knew he wouldn't. We had a very sibling-like relationship.

The train began moving, and then he was a blur. I soaked Austin's shoulder and he let me cry on him as my body racked with sobs as our journey began. 

I remembered how I had said to Niall that I would run away and not come back if they didn't tell me what was up. And this was a big up. I fingered the promise ring on my finger that was full of truths, compared to the necklace founded on deceit.

I cried in realization that I knew I wasn't going back, I never was. He had let me go, and I had just given him up.
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Author's Note 

:'( Just.... do you feel her sorrow? Please tell me what you HONESTLY think of this chapter. I hope you liked it. And she got her memory back!

~Megs xxx

Chapter is dedicated to @BelWatson for inspiring me and the next one will be for @niallismypotato because its their birthday on Monday! :) x