Dear Benjamin

Chapter Eleven

Dear Benjamin, I've never seen you so vulnerable before. I don't like it...

'Matt?! Matt, where are you?' I cried, trying to overpower the loud music as I called into my phone.

'I don't know, somewhere in this goddamn house,' he cried. 'You know, I usually like parties but this one is-'

You groaned in pain beside me, and I quickly readjusted my arm around you.

'Look Matt, I have to get him out of here. He's drunk out of his mind! Oh my God...'

Hooking my arm around your torso, your head fell on my neck.

Mumbling something incoherently, you kissed my jaw awkwardly.

'Now is definitely not the time, Benjamin,' I whispered, trying to guide, and shove, us through the crowd of sweaty bodies.

'Matt, we're outside. Can you hurry up please? I need to get him home.'

'I'm coming, would you calm down?'

I mumbled a profanity and angrily hung up the phone.

Sitting you against the fence, I sat down opposite you.

'This was a stupid idea, Benjamin.'

You looked at me.

'I never took you for a party animal. I guess I was right.'

You didn't move.

'Blargh, why did Matt have to bring us to this party?'

You blinked at me, probably not listening to a thing I was saying.

'I don't like seeing you drunk, Benjamin,' I said, taking your hand in mine.

You looked down at our hands, the corner of your lips pulling up in a smile.

'Benjamin...'

Your eyes flickered up to mine.

'I'm not the prettiest girl in the world, but, when I'm around you, I feel beautiful. I'm really happy that I met you, I hope you know that.'

You let out a small laugh.

'Danielle Foley...'

'That's me, Benjamin.'

'I am so in love with you.'

I felt my heart swell.

You continued.

'I don't think you understand how much I love you. I love you so much that I want to show you the world, I want to stare at the stars at night with you, I want to cuddle on rainy days and I want to cuddle on summer days when the aircon is blasting, I want to wake up and watch the morning sunlight hit your face, and I just want you. Ellie, you're all I want.'

I smiled, so very brightly.

'I love you too, Benjamin.'

You smiled, just as I did.

'You have no idea, Benjamin Hanson. No idea.'

Matt's voice rang through the front yard, 'Benjamin?'

'Look,' I whispered to you, 'Matt's here to save your drunk ass.'

You chuckled and I kissed your check softly.

'I love you so much, Ellie,' you said, your eyelids starting to droop...

If only we could go back in time, Benjamin.

I want to express my love again.

Please, just come back.