Bumper Cars [EDITING]

° twenty one °

- Henley POV -

I've decided to forgive Jax, fully.

I don't known if I'm being stupid, but I just don't think that Jax would do that to me. Kissing Tara... That really hurt, but if he was to sleep with her.... I think that would break me.

I don't know if we could ever come back from that, ever.

I just think about the stuff he says to me.

Last night, when he thought I was asleep, he whispered, "I want Abel to call you mommy", in my ear.

If he feels that way... I don't think he'd mess it all up by being with her.

He knows how I feel, I don't want him sleeping with sweetbutts and croweaters, let alone, someone he used to be in love with.

I wouldn't be able to handle that.

I was grocery shopping, I knew I had to be in the house by a certain time, in order to let Gemma in, so we could put some of the finishing touches on Abel's nursery.

When I got home, Gemma was waiting for me.
She helped me with the bags.

"I'll put them up", she said, as I walked to Abel's nursery.

When I got in there, it was completely destroyed.

And... It smelled foul.

I stepped it something wet, and I realized that the smell was piss.

"Gemma... Call Jax, now !", I yelled, loudly.

Jax showed up about 10 minutes later. When he walked in, I was staring at all of the pictures on the wall.

Jax screwing some blonde. They were time stamped, so I could see it was from the time he was in Indian Hills. Those didn't hurt me that bad, though.

The ones that hurt... Were the ones with Tara.

Her on the back of his bike. The two of them kissing. Him going into her house. Her at the clubhouse.

"What the hell is this, Jackson ?", I said as calmly as I possibly could.

He went on about how Tara has some ATF freak stalking her and how he did this.

"That stupid bitch", Gemma muttered, pissed that she's the reason Abel's nursery was trashed.

"Ma, stop. It's not her fault", he snapped at Gemma.

That was the final straw. Him defending her... I couldn't do this. I couldn't be near him.

I went and did the only thing that made any sense to me, went to the kitchen to grab hot water, soap, and pinesol. I needed to clean.

Jax had stormed off, probably to find the ATF agent and kick his ass. I didn't care anymore.

"How are you dealing with this ?", Gemma asked, once I got into the room.

"I'm not", I replied, simply, as I bent down and stated to scrub the floor.

She left the room and came back with a rag of her own.

"You don't have to do that, Gem."

"My son's wandering dick made this mess, the least I could do is help clean it up."

I nodded and smiled at her as we cleaned the entire nursery. We didn't talk about Jax or Tara. We just talked about Abel. How much we couldn't wait until he was home. How beautiful he was. How sweet he'd be.

I didn't want to leave. I honestly had no plans to. I don't know if I will be with Jax anymore. I honestly haven't decided yet.

All I know, is I've grown attached to that baby boy. There was no way I could leave him. Half the shit that comes out of Jax's mouth is a lie, but I believed him when he said that he wants Abel to call me mommy. I still believe that.

I love that baby like he was my own.

°°°

Later that night, I was asleep in the rocking chair in Abel's nursery when the door opening woke me up.

Jax walked in and stood in the doorway.

"You didn't have to clean that up, Hen", he said, giving me sad eyes.

I noticed that he limped in.

"You alright, Jax ?", I asked him, completely ignoring his previous statement.

"It's fine. The fed is gone. I watched him leave."

"Are we alright, Jackson ?"

"Did I fuck it all up ? You gonna leave ?"

"If I was gonna leave, Jackson... I wouldn't have cleaned up the piss first. I heard what you said the other night, Jackson... Did you mean it ?"

"Yes... I meant it."

"Then when we fight. There's no threat of me leaving. If I'm his mommy, we might fight, but I'm not leaving him."

Jax smiled a tired smile.

"You amaze me every single day", he said.

I walked up to him and gave him a kiss.

"I'm not leaving you. Don't break me, Jackson."

Then I took his hand and we went to bed.