Breaking the Habit//Gratsu

04

"A society built on the teachings that friends are only for pretend."

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

Natsu's point of view:

The masked man pulled out the knife and stabbed my dad again. I watched as my eyes filled with horror.

This scene kept replaying but getting farther away. The man kept stabbing Igneel.

"Stop! Stop! STOP!"

The stabbing continued.

"Stop!"

"Please stop!"

"Stop!"

I woke up breathing hard with wet cheeks. I was trying to process the reason why I was crying and then everything hit me.

I had a dream about that incident again. I put my hands over my face and began to cry.

They were silent cries that no one would witness.

I tried to prevent the water from streaming down my face and yet they flowed. I brought my knees to my chest and began to shake.

Every time I had a dream related to him I would end up like this especially because it did not happen often.

Why did he have to die protecting me? I'm not worth it. Why couldn't I be the one dead? My father was being killed and I couldn't do a damn thing.

I went beneath my bed for the heroin.

I quickly filled the needle with the drug and searched for a vein.

One fix wasn't plenty to me at this point.

I had to take a lot since the effect didn't work as fast like before. Due to the fact I've done it too many times, it led to that extent. I'm wondering why I'm still alive.

I can't wait until the day I die.

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

It was the second period and I had physical education. I felt worn out since I woke up in the middle of the night.

I need another fix.

I slowly walked to the gym change room where everyone was. I started heading to the bathroom, though someone came to block my path.

"It's called a change room for a reason, so what makes you think you're special and be the only one to change in private?" Jackel said with a complacent look.

I simply ignored him and tried getting passed but was pinned to the wall.

"Do you have some sort of problem with me or what?" I addressed loudly to get my classmates attention so I could slip past him nevertheless, it did not work because he noticed what I tried to do.

"I don't have a problem with you it's just are you even a male?" He laughed.

Pink hair does not signify one's gender you dipshit.

There were a few snickers but were stopped when Sting silenced them.

"Jackel leave him alone. If he wants to change in the washroom then let him be," Sting added while putting on his gym shirt.

"He? Don't you mean she?" He tried to unbutton my blazer but I kicked him in the gut and ran in the washroom. If someone saw the nasty scars on me I would never attend P.E.

I changed quickly and I put my things in my locker except for my scarf. No matter the season or occasion I would have it on. Considering it was the last thing my father gave to me and to hide the scar on my neck.

I entered the gym at the moment my name was being called on the attendance.

"Here." I called out and joined the line everyone was in.

"I'm glad you have your gym uniform on but the scarf is a hazard Dragneel, would you mind taking it off?" Mr. Clive claimed. All eyes were on me and I hesitated.

"And if I don't?" I told him.

The gym teacher looked at me closely which was making me fidgety yet I tried keeping my cool. He sighed in defeat and dismissed the matter.

"Find a partner to stretch with for some time. Later on, we will begin the twelve minute run." Mr. Clive said and blew his whistle.

I looked around to see if someone didn't have a partner and saw Gray walking towards me. "Partner?" He asked calmly. Then I hummed in response.

Moreover, we ended up stretching for ten minutes. Sting and Rouge were super close to each other it didn't even appear as stretching. Gray helped me stretch and I did the same for him.

Mr. Clive blew the whistle once more indicating it was time for the twelve minute run.

During the run, my body felt so heavy it was excruciating. I wanted to stop though I was almost at the passing mark.

After gym it was lunch. I went on the rooftop and laid there.

Yes, it was pretty cliché but it was nice and quiet rather than the noisy cafeteria.

Ever since my suspension has been over, I've been coming here frequently. Perhaps it was because I didn't want people asking me questions about what happened in the principal's office or I didn't want to be around people.

Out of the blue, I remembered that I had to meet up with Erza, Lucy, and Gray after school. I sighed in frustration.

Yesterday Lucy and Erza kept bothering me on how we should hang out like old times and 'catch up'.

They clearly haven't realized we can't just 'catch up' on a whole five years. On top of that I don't even trust them just because we were close friends then didn't mean we would be now.

None of them care.

Soon the bell rang and I did not move an inch.